Damn straight I can--bring on the meaningless sex :) Though admittedly, I'm getting up a bit long in the tooth for that sort of thing. I lost my best relationship over "sowing my wild oats"... for years, I regretted that decision. But when it finally paid off, I realized I'd made the right choice. Women are yummy and delicious and I felt compelled to try the sampler platter. Don't get me wrong, though--there is no sex better than love making... so there's a definite trade off. Like I've said before, if I'm taken, she's the one for me. If I'm free, all bets are off.
Besides, what fun would it be if men and women thought the same about sex? Personally, I think that many women have a certain kind of guy with which they don't mind so much the sex for sex's sake, but that's just a guess on my part.
You're definitely right about the repressed part, Kate--all it takes is a visit to some other countries to see how true that is.
As for the men willing to have The Talk... I would definitely agree that MOST men aren't into "where is this relationship going?", and of those men, most of them that are resistant to it are younger. But some of us actually do care where our relationship is going, and care enough about our women to let them know how we feel about them. I once made the mistake of not letting someone know how I felt. I'll be damned if I do it again.
28 April 2004
I don't think lifting an ass is necessary. I have yet to find a woman who couldn't find a sex partner, if that's all she wanted. There are some who don't look and complain there is no one out there, but with the sexualized (and yet remarkably repressed) social culture of which we are part, finding just sex doesn't generally seem to be a problem. And that's enough for a lot of people -- they have apparently separated sex from attachment and get their emotional needs filled by other sources.
I've personally never been able to do that, and I know Susan can't. The boys both say they can. In some ways, it would be nice to have that division -- it would mean getting it on a little more often. But then again, sex for the sake of sex is more easily and safely done by one's self. Sex for one isn't as much fun, but at least you know what turns you on, and in general, the guy you picked up that night for some fun doesn't. If I'm going to get naked with someone -- not just sex, but get naked -- I want to know him well enough to know if I like him.
I've personally never been able to do that, and I know Susan can't. The boys both say they can. In some ways, it would be nice to have that division -- it would mean getting it on a little more often. But then again, sex for the sake of sex is more easily and safely done by one's self. Sex for one isn't as much fun, but at least you know what turns you on, and in general, the guy you picked up that night for some fun doesn't. If I'm going to get naked with someone -- not just sex, but get naked -- I want to know him well enough to know if I like him.
27 April 2004
Ja, I'm not hearing World War III started here. Das ist gut.
Um, I'm not going to check or correct your MP quotes. I don't know them that well. I have a few friends who do -- in fact, I know of a 3.5 year relationship which started because of the dead Python boy (He's gone to be with Graham) and I really think the Flying Circus is the glue that keeps them together, but that's not me. I'm just generally amused.
You're right about the comments. They do appear now.
Interesting way of putting it, Jenn (comment 2). What I've discovered is that some men ARE willing to discuss the relationship and how they feel about you, but only when it isn't posited that way. I don't know anyone, boy or girl, who likes The Relationship Talk. Occasionally, for sanity's (overrated sake) one or both parties need to do a little State Of kind of discussion, but yeah, it's not usually the beginning of the relationship. Or not pre-the-beginning.
Despite other appropriate Gen-X tendencies (mainly a belief in the liberation of women) I think Susan would have done well in Victorian times, when learning how to wave your fan, drop your hanky, and leave your calling card all sent signals which could be interpreted by others. There were rules and ways of doing things and, supposedly, less ambiguity. But then again, women were to grow up, get enough education to amuse their husbands and their friends, and marry and produce. Whether they did it or not, there was an expected path, complete with road map. My how things have changed.
Um, I'm not going to check or correct your MP quotes. I don't know them that well. I have a few friends who do -- in fact, I know of a 3.5 year relationship which started because of the dead Python boy (He's gone to be with Graham) and I really think the Flying Circus is the glue that keeps them together, but that's not me. I'm just generally amused.
You're right about the comments. They do appear now.
Interesting way of putting it, Jenn (comment 2). What I've discovered is that some men ARE willing to discuss the relationship and how they feel about you, but only when it isn't posited that way. I don't know anyone, boy or girl, who likes The Relationship Talk. Occasionally, for sanity's (overrated sake) one or both parties need to do a little State Of kind of discussion, but yeah, it's not usually the beginning of the relationship. Or not pre-the-beginning.
Despite other appropriate Gen-X tendencies (mainly a belief in the liberation of women) I think Susan would have done well in Victorian times, when learning how to wave your fan, drop your hanky, and leave your calling card all sent signals which could be interpreted by others. There were rules and ways of doing things and, supposedly, less ambiguity. But then again, women were to grow up, get enough education to amuse their husbands and their friends, and marry and produce. Whether they did it or not, there was an expected path, complete with road map. My how things have changed.
26 April 2004
Good lord woman, yes you did misquote it, but only barely... the correct start, of course, is "I didn't expect the sort of Spanish Inquistion". I was just doing the expected response, not correcting you.
As far as the comments, here they are:
Jenn's first comment, that started this whole mess:
You sound crazy. He doesn't want you. Get over him.
Jenn's second comment, in response to Susan:
Of course I'll respond. I've learned that men detest talking about "how they feel about you" even 2, 3, 10 years into relationships. So for you to spring some "I love you deeply, let's talk about us" kind of stuff on him when you haven't even kissed him, much less had anything remotely resembling a "relationship," with this guy, is crazy. Of course he bolted. Of course he's reluctant to get involved with you. And of course he tells you nice things because he doesn't want to make you even crazier. The venting you do here on your blog would be nothing compared to the shit he'd have to hear for the next lifetime. He does have to work with you. So quit acting like the spoiled princess who was denied her treat, get on with it, and maybe he'll want to be around you and buy you ice cream again.
There you go. Although they came straight up for me this time, so maybe they're working for you now. Doesn't seem like there's been any follow up, so maybe the issue can be laid to rest. Although something tells me that having posted the comments, I might have started Round Two...
[ducks]
As far as the comments, here they are:
Jenn's first comment, that started this whole mess:
You sound crazy. He doesn't want you. Get over him.
Jenn's second comment, in response to Susan:
Of course I'll respond. I've learned that men detest talking about "how they feel about you" even 2, 3, 10 years into relationships. So for you to spring some "I love you deeply, let's talk about us" kind of stuff on him when you haven't even kissed him, much less had anything remotely resembling a "relationship," with this guy, is crazy. Of course he bolted. Of course he's reluctant to get involved with you. And of course he tells you nice things because he doesn't want to make you even crazier. The venting you do here on your blog would be nothing compared to the shit he'd have to hear for the next lifetime. He does have to work with you. So quit acting like the spoiled princess who was denied her treat, get on with it, and maybe he'll want to be around you and buy you ice cream again.
There you go. Although they came straight up for me this time, so maybe they're working for you now. Doesn't seem like there's been any follow up, so maybe the issue can be laid to rest. Although something tells me that having posted the comments, I might have started Round Two...
[ducks]