Well, what's the divorce rate now?  Isn't it over 50%?  So wiping out 66% of marriages wouldn't be hard.  Maybe I'm on to something here...

See, the leap of faith thing is what I don't have under control.  I've a history of slightly over 2 year relationships that are working fantastically until they completely fall apart.  Admittedly, leaving for grad school or a job in North Dakota doesn't necessarily promote the future of things, but still.  So how can I have faith that things won't change that completely again?  I guess it boils down to doing your research and knowing the skills to work things out.  The list of questions is kind of like reading the Consumer Reports tests and talking to friends before buying a blender or VCR (okay, I know no one buys VCRs anymore).  You should have seen me before I bought my couch.  If you ever need information on furniture construction, I'm your woman!  I like to know the facts as much as possible.  And I'm not saying that two potential partners need to agree on everything, but shouldn't you know if you're at opposite ends of the expectation spectrum?  For example, if you want kids and your SO doesn't, that's mostly a break-it.  If you want to live in Manhattan and your SO wants the Green Acres life, also probably an unfixable disconnect.  But for all the in-between things, if you start out knowing that your on page 6 and your SO's on page 4, at least you have a baseline for where to begin discussions, which may make said discussions more productive.  At least you've discussed before whether you should pay cash or use credit for major purchases.  There will always be surprises, and there will always be disagreements, but if you have a history of being able to work things out, you have something to draw on.  I guess that's the important part: can you communicate with this person you're proposing to spend the rest of your life with??  Honestly?

I've a phone growing out of my ear today.  I'm tired and cranky and need a nap and still love my job.  Life is weird.

So, as far as your technological utopia, I've found a piece of it.  I finally admitted that, if I wanted valuable advice on how to deal with my SO's kid, I was going to have to look at sites with the dreaded "stepmother" in the title or description.  Denial is a powerful thing, and since I'm not in any way ready to consider marriage, it was scary.  Regardless, I found a step-parents message board that includes other people like me (i.e. those dating a parent) and other people experiencing the exact same b.s. that I am!  It was amazing to talk to some of these people!  Just knowing that neither my situation nor the kid's reactions to me are unusual is great.  Not great that other people have to deal with teenagers, just great that I'm not somehow evil.

Indeed, information is truly power.

Remember the post-marriage mantra: "It's not like I thought it would be..."

Following your rules (not that they don't make perfect sense, mind you), I reckon you'd wipe out about 66% of current marriages.  A quick glance at a popular dating site shows many people look to have taken your advice, and by that I mean mostly the now 23 yr old girls who previously got knocked up (sometimes twice over), and the guy fled the scene without even giving the expected honorary marriage a first thought.  Jeez.

Just keep in mind that you'll never be able to reason it all out.  Try as you might, when it comes down to it, you'll still have to make a leap of faith in trusting someone to spend the rest of your life with or until such point as one divorces the other and runs off with a younger model, whichever comes first.

So the Democrats are up first, starting today.  My decision tonight will be whether to watch the convention, wrasslin', or Seth MacFarlane hosting his favorite Family Guy episodes.  I imagine I'll be doing a bit of channel surfing. BTW, I now own all the Family Guy episodes released up to this point, and after listening to the commentary on the first DVD, I can only say that that show could easily have been MORE offensive than it ended up.  These guys are pretty hard core.

I think anyone who cannot debate an issue which he or she feels strongly about is worried that her/his position is tenuous.  I don't see any reason that debate on how you feel about something is wrong -- but you have to be open to new facts that may change your feelings, and you must be debating with someone who respects your feelings.  We are insecure in our own convictions if someone else's view is that threatening to us.

What kind of questions do we no longer ask, in view of marriage?  The rise of individual power trumping that of the couple is both good and bad.  If I am more important than my (hypothetical) marriage, fine.  But in return for that power, should I not also bear the responsibility of choosing a mate who looks as though he is going in the same direction as I?  Yes, things don't work out sometimes.  No one should be abused, mentally, emotionally, or physically, in a relationship.  No one should be neglected.  No one should have to stay married to an addict who isn't interested in getting help.  But on the flip side, no one who hasn't considered life with another person seriously should be allowed to get married, as it is to the detriment of the institution.  How many people get married thinking they can change their spouses?  How many couples tie the knot without discussing children, finances, life goals, housing preferences, etc.?  How many people get married knowing that divorce is always an option if it doesn't work out?  I don't know, but it seems like a lot of people have these preventable problems.  I think I'll solve it by not getting married until I'm 40.  Of course, I'm proposing 40 as a date when I should know something about life.  I thought that about 25, too, so I'm guessing I'm probably wrong.

Information is power.

I mean, the deal on gay marriage is... when it comes right down to it, we're talking about a degree of weirdness that most of us just aren't ready to deal with, point blank.  Doesn't make it right, because it's not.  The typical questions that is raised is "what does a gay couple teach their children about men and women and relationships?".  Now as I'm sitting here thinking about it, I'm realizing more and more that I really can NOT justify being against such a thing.  I'm no devout religious man, so I definitely won't go with the "because God says it's wrong" mentality.  As I mentioned before about being a minority and understanding how this issue is much the same as interracial marriage, I guess I really can't oppose gay marriage.  I wouldn't want them to come back and say okay, well, interracial marriage is wrong too, because it's not "normal".  I think honestly, the only reason I had any negative reaction to it at all was still residual emotions from one of my earliest dates with my ex, when we went to Universal Studios... but during Gay Week.  If you haven't experienced that, it basically comprises 80% gay people wearing about 8% clothing.  And these folks were taking the opportunity for all it was worth, lots of over the top PDA and all that.  Now on one hand, I can't say I blame them considering they're typically barred from PDA because us "normal" folks don't like to see that.  But it was a bit over the top.  And, as usual, I digress.  So this Republican says: GAY OK, marriage-wise.  NEXT TOPIC!

Actually, more on the same topic... "traditional" marriage is quite a concept.  We've done a good job these days of wrecking the most sacred tradition of all.  Although I think in years past, people just weren't allowed to get divorced, even if it would be better for one or both.  But I certainly agree with you that we don't take it nearly as seriously as we should.  Poo on us.  When you and I get married (not to each other, of course), we'll show 'em how it's done.  My eyes have been opened more and more to the horrors of divorce, or really, the horrors of thinking you knew someone only to have them turn into some sort of demon, and it is truly a terrible terrible thing when done wrong.  Again, I digress.  NEXT TOPIC!!

Is the power of the individual dead?  I mean, there are plenty of examples where one person could and has made a difference... but do you believe that people in our current society believe they can make a difference?  Do you believe that they feel their beliefs are worth fighting for?  Are we in a situation where the people in power in our country are SO powerful, the average person thinks it's suicide to oppose them?  NEXT TOPIC!!!

You have to wonder at the mentality of the "you're either with us, or against us" crowd.  Are they afraid of a world in which their ideas are wrong?

This is getting good... if we can keep this up, I may no longer be able to call myself an uninformed voter...

The constitution should NEVER be used to take away rights.  It is supposed to grant us rights and limit what can be taken from us.  What I don't understand about the opposition to gay marriage is that people who oppose it keep citing "traditional" marriage.  What I think they mean is the return to Victorian ideals that happened in the 1950s, the Donna Reed ideal (which, as nicely showcase in a Gilmore Girls episode, Ms. Reed herself didn't even live up to -- she fought and gained creative control in her career: very unwomanly).  In some "traditional" marriages, there is more than one wife.  Or, the woman has no right to leave, own property, or have control of her own body.  It is only in recent (read: post-1960s) that rape within marriage has been considered a crime.  If anyone should be blamed for the decline of what we consider "traditional" marriage values, it should be the heterosexuals of the country who, despite our intense media focus on weddings, have forgotten that marriage should maybe be taken seriously.  Blame Hollywood for its 3,000 broken marriages.  Blame Britney for her really deep and meaningful committments.  Regardless, though I'm not gay, how does the legal union of two women who love each other detract from my decision to marry a man?  How does someone else's love corrupt my own?  Lack of logic.  There was a really great Salon.com article on this, but I've lost it.

I'll look up the CDC condoms stuff for you.  It's out there somewhere, as it was recent.

I didn't disagree with anything you said, really.  What I disapree with is our lack of ability to communicate in this country, thereby creating a "with us or against us" mentality that says if you disagree with the powers-that-be, you must be wrong.  Now THAT'S un-American.