Through a haze of precipitation of undetermined state, I can just barely see the bison statue. It is made entirely of rebar, but you can't tell that from here. Usually, I have a decent view of the capitol from my office window, but not today. 18 stories tall, a few hundred feet away, and I can't see it.

So, for the past year, I've been an EOW SO (every other weekend significant other). As of last night, this is no longer the case. My lovely SO has moved to town. ACK! ENTERING BIZARRO WORLD!

I'm really happy/excited about the fact, especially since he's got a new job, starting Monday, about which he is very excited. But in some respects, I wish things didn't need to change. They were working. I always seem to approach these changes in the state of things with some trepidation. But then again, I like the mix of excitement tinged with just a little fear of the unknown. That is life, isn't it??

Hoarfrost. I think I may have discovered the most beautiful thing ever. Okay, I didn't really discover it. I think that people have known about it forever and it isn't like I cause it to happen. Hoarfrost is the pretty ice crystals that cover the smaller branches of trees and bushes, making them all look like they've been glittered. (Yes, I know glitter isn't usually a verb.) I cannot give a meterological definition, nor do I care to. Knowing the science behind many things makes them more intriguing; hoarfrost is just pretty and that's all I need to know right now.

On the subject of weather phenomena, did you know that Ice Fog exists? How ridiculous is that? It is so cold that the foggy moisture freezes in the air. How weird.

So I'm still thinking about New Year's Resolutions (tm). I'm not sure where to go with them. I'm thinking of a few things, though. 1. Learning when to say "no," or "this is not my problem," and then actually butt out. I'm not very good at it, but I think my sanity would fare better if I learned.

The other epiphany I have to admit came from a 20/20 episode last night -- the show was "New Year, New Love," and they were interviewing Mama Gina, the life coach or whatever you want to call her who teaches groups of women to be in control of their lives and destinies and revive their relationships through that transformation. I've seen her interviewed before, and I like her. But her comment last night was this: It's easy to live a life you hate. To live an exquisite life, where you are reaping the benefits of every minute, enjoying every thing you do, sucking the marrow out of life, now that takes discipline. Hmmmm. I'm still thinking about that one. Oh, and the marrow comment was mine, editorially added to my paraphrased version of her comment (DPS, for those paying attention.)

So that's my thought for the day. Again, Happy Kwanzaa. Reap the benefits of that. It's day 4 of 7 and time is running out.

I went to bed early last night, after a nice relaxing bath with great new (Christmas present) bubble bath. I slept well. And yet, today, I'm yawning all day. What's up with that?

This year, I'm trying to decide whether to try New Year's resolutions. If I do, I'm looking for something simple and meaningful that I might stick with. But on the flip side, I'm thinking of a cleansing ceremony instead. I would write down all the ways I've disappointed myself this year. And then I would burn them. I was trying to think of something to do with the flame, and all I came up with was toasting marshmallows -- making a treat out of getting rid of all my disappointments. I am giving them all up and moving on, resolutions or no.

I must go make office coffee. I'm tired, and it's my week.

You know, if I knew how to edit this thing, I could make Wicked Moxie into KT's World. But then, it already is, isn't it?

This is so like life: me talking loudly to no one about nothing. Sort of an Eleanor Rigby moment, isn't it? (As I speak I can hear a very annoying coworker cackling about something. I do not much like people today.)

So my question of the day:
WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION?
If all the world's a stage, and I am merely a player, to what role have I been assigned? To whom am I playing? What's the plot? What is my underlying goal? Answers are elusive, and I need them "in English, please."

Happy Kwanzaa, everyone.

Soon, the holidays will all be over and we all will have survived. Woo-hoo.

Does anyone REALLY like the holidays?

The family traditions that I was so quick to run away from are now things that I miss. Now I have no traditions. I did not buy a pumpkin for Halloween. I did not get a tree for Christmas. I didn't even get any leftover turkey from Thanksgiving! Are they really not all that important, or am I just in a limbo where I need to figure out what is important to me so that I can do it? A lot of life feels like that right now. Some things are good. Others aren't so much. Nothing is truly horrible. But so much of life feels uncertain and tentative -- as though I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. Hmmm.

Much to think about.

I'm going to go knit.

What brought that on was a general freaking out over a bunch of things I can't/couldn't change. I have a hard time letting go.

Wicked Moxie's going to be pretty boring if it's just ME ranting and raving. Oh well. Gotta give the public what they want, right? Wait. We don't have a public.

Well, good luck. Make sure you are using your non-blogging time well. If you aren't, get the hell back on the blog!

Wow. I always said I accomplish more for others when I'm single. A month and a half into a new relationship, and I have already decided to end my personal blog. I am not sure how much I will be able to contribute to this one, either, but I just can't leave Kate hanging like that. So with that in mind, what was that last post all about, Kate? Or more to the point, what brought that on?

Okay, I posted this on Monday, but it's not showing. Let's try again:

let the blog die for half a month, and see what happens. Oh, yeah. I don't get to talk to MP or Susan and life just goes to hell in a handbasket. How big of a handbasket does it take? I don't have a clue. Oh, and to all our loyal readers: SORRY. Yes, I have to yell. No one is listening.You know what, though? Listening is overrated. So you listen to a friend's advice. And? You still end up making your own decision, don't you?So, okay. I'm working hard on a life lesson these days: SERENITY.My Credo, a work in progress:I seek serenity, zen, the tao. And yet, I live life as a spawning salmon so many days. I can control only me. I am responsible only to me, and to no one else. I take responsibility for my actions, my reactions, and my state of being. It is okay for each of my friends to be who she is, even if I don't like it. I must be honest with myself and others. This is a form of respect. By showing respect to myself, and to others, I enrich my life. Other people's expectations need not govern my life. The only person to whose ideals I must be faithful are my own. I understand that other people are responsible for their decisions in life, and I am not responsible for their happiness. In being personally responsible for my life, I must make every decision myself, based on my needs and goals, and the consequences, both positive and negative, are exclusively mine.

let the blog die for half a month, and see what happens. Oh, yeah. I don't get to talk to MP or Susan and life just goes to hell in a handbasket. How big of a handbasket does it take? I don't have a clue. Oh, and to all our loyal readers: SORRY. Yes, I have to yell. No one is listening.

You know what, though? Listening is overrated. So you listen to a friend's advice. And? You still end up making your own decision, don't you?

So, okay. I'm working hard on a life lesson these days: SERENITY.
My Credo, a work in progress:
I seek serenity, zen, the tao. And yet, I live life as a spawning salmon so many days. I can control only me. I am responsible only to me, and to no one else. I take responsibility for my actions, my reactions, and my state of being. It is okay for each of my friends to be who she is, even if I don't like it. I must be honest with myself and others. This is a form of respect. By showing respect to myself, and to others, I enrich my life. Other people's expectations need not govern my life. The only person to whose ideals I must be faithful are my own. I understand that other people are responsible for their decisions in life, and I am not responsible for their happiness. In being personally responsible for my life, I must make every decision myself, based on my needs and goals, and the consequences, both positive and negative, are exclusively mine.

It's inappropriate to say "Happy World AIDS Day," but it is good to bring a reminder to the world that we can no longer ignore this human rights issue.

AIDS is a human rights issue. The spread of AIDS can only be stopped through education, freedom to make informed sexual choices, and attention to the problem. Ostrich-like attempts to ignore this disease allowed it to spread rampantly for too long.

And now, a study shows that AIDS is a women's issue. When women are not in control of their sexual choices, either because of coersion or because of ignorance, the consequences are devastating. The United States, the country we claim stands for freedom and equality, seeks to impose the moral views of a small percentage of people on the world masses. Do we really think that if we stop talking about sex, it will go away? Are we really that stupid?

Women's rights affect everyone's rights. The stultifying stereotypes and "conventional" or "traditional" roles forced down women's throats have correspondingly restrictive counterparts for men. When women cannot reach their full potential, neither can men. When a woman is lead to believe that her place is ONLY in the home, doing domestic duty, men can only be in the public sphere. And gee, I thought the point of getting married was to have a partner.

Too many random thoughts in my head.