I actually heard “Danny Boy” played, traditional fiddle style, Sunday, by two brothers who can’t be older than 19 or so and who are fantastic. Good stuff.

Daniel, if you don’t blog us back soon, we’re going to have to add music to the blog, and yes, THAT tune! And we’ll have Susan put out an APB on you. The heavy furniture must be heavy, indeed! (Like, heavy, man...)

Anyway, what are genetics, really? I’m not genetically related to any of my family. And yes, for anyone who is reading and doesn’t know me, they are too my “real” family. I may have biological parents and relations somewhere out there (assuming of course that I was born, not spawned or hatched – hey, I have no proof!), but they are not my Family. My “real” parents are the two unfortunate souls who changed my diapers and put up with my temper tantrums and paid part of my way through college, listening to a new major each week. That’s real. On the other hand, I’ve always thought that friends, the long-lasting ones, are the family that you choose. You surround yourself with people. Some are chosen for you by genetics, accidents of birth, or other people’s choices (spouses of your friends and family, for example). Some appear because of your career or life choices. And others you choose yourself. Family. Just my opinion, of course.

What else was I going to write? I’ve forgotten. My brain is foggy today. I was awake and alert all of Monday, so I’m paying for it today with head fog.

Oh, and Susan? There were reasons that these guys were just friends in most cases. You never asked. I could have told you. Not that you'd have listened, really, with your pigheaded insistence that "happily ever after" will someday knock you over the head and drag you off by your hair to a plush cave, but you make your own choices and mistakes, and only you can really learn from them. There are reasons that my mistakes and yours are different -- we started off with different information and different needs for life lessons. It isn't the path less traveled, it is the path _I_ must travel that makes a difference.

Folks, I have a confession to make...

My sisters and I aren't biologically related, or at least as far as I know. They're two childhood friends (who actually do happen to be sisters) I've had since the fourth grade. If you'd like to get to know the older sister, Lynn, her blog is one of my links on the side--she still lives in Orlando. I was recently reunited with the younger one, Jenn, when she moved to Tampa several months ago. I do happen to think they are both fantastic, each in her own special way :)

I've tried to talk to people about what they are passionate about in life (not necessarily having THE Passion, but A passion)... it's been surprising that I've known more than a few folks who are apparently not passionate about anything in life. I firmly believe, as do many, that everyone has at least one true calling--it's a matter of discovering what it is.

OH DANNY BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY (sorry, couldn't resist)

You women and your soft, chewy, luscious, nougaty centers. Man, I could go for a Milky Way right about now.

ya know, im beginning to really worry about danny boy....where is he?! do i need to send out a search party? and considering hes never called me like he said he would, i dont have his phone number. for all we know hes stuck underneath some heavy furniture just inches away from the phone...lol!

and yes, i heard that about family guy. that show has to be one of the funniest and most clever shows ever! i still love it when punchy the hawaiian punch guy comes crashing through the wall and says, "hey now!" when i saw that i knew i would love the show!

as far as meeting people, yep ive met most people through friends...ahmad (was that his name?! im talking about romin's little brother...), john, eric, ryan, andy...oh what a group of winners! lol! kt, you need to get cooler male friends! lol! the through friends thing is cool but oftentimes a limited pool. and if youre like me and have lame-ass friends (here in ga) then you have little selection to choose from. and dating at work carries with it all sorts of danger...just look at carter...then again that was more of a lesson about dating fucking liars and cheats than about dating at work... and yes, school rocks when it comes to dating people because there are commonalities there and you dont have to go far for selection...unless you went to an all women's college...ugh! and then if you were like me and got picked up by a lesbian at a tech frat party...oh yes, sad but true...! so alas, like oprah said, yes i watch oprah sometimes, a man is gonna just about have to fling himself onto the hood of my car (or bonnet of my car for you anglophiles! beep beep, mini cooper time!!!) for me to meet him. then again, random luck of the draw is usually best isnt it? that whole shit about love finding you and you never finding love when you go looking for it...how trite but really how true. i was surprised when i found myself liking mike...i hated him when we first met, funny enough...now i hate him again because hes a loser motherfucker...but anyways...lol!

and frankly i was surprised by mark's comment about women being unable to communicate their feelings. then again, maybe all the women i like to hang out with are like me and are very vocal about everything. perhaps that has skewed my view of it. but yeah, i hate fakers...men or women. i wanna see the real person and not the prim and proper person, thats way too boring. but as for people interested in the mundane parts of life, those are Walmart people and should be avoided at all costs! and yeah, i think there are too many Walmart women and men out there. but i do agree about the Passion. there are too many people out there who just dont care about anything really. so many people who are just oblivious about everything and it makes me so frustrated and mad. i just wanna shake them and scream, "wake the fuck up you losers!" they walk around with these empty vapid looks on their faces and its frustrating. anyone with those empty vapid looks on their faces angers me and frustrates me...its way too prevalent in all parts of society. its almost like you can see the Passion (since thats what we're calling IT now...lol!) in people's eyes and you notice when its not there. its very bizarre. and yeah, its rare to meet people with the Passion and even rarer still to meet people with the Passion that youre attracted to! but yeah, ive settled before and was miserable and im not gonna settle again. and if that means i end up alone with my ten cats then so be it...at least i'll know i didnt settle for less than i deserved. and funny enough, i think part of the reason that i may frighten some people off is that they see the Passion and it scares them or confuses them. it may be like being in a cult...very strange to outsiders and very alienating to those not in the cult...an odd example, i know. but i think maybe thats it, people not in the know, those without the Passion, just dont get IT. and yes, it bothers me slightly that im reminded of that damn jesus movie every time i say the Passion! lol! but it is an apt word for what we're talking about.

and really, like i think morrissey is secretly like despite his feigned melancholia, im really a very hopeful person. ive actually grown more hopeful as ive gotten older i think. i can get booted in the crotch or whatnot and i cry and get angry and wallow for a while, but then i always get up, dust myself off, and give em all the finger, coming back even stronger and more determined than before. shit, situations like that with carter could have totally cracked a weaker person, but i learned my lessons, moved on, and am a much stronger and wiser person than before...thank god!!! lol! i really do put on a bitchy harsh front for everyone...im sure its a defense mechanism. i also use comedy to hide as well. its like hiding in plain sight...theres a fancy word for that which i forget. like ive said before, im like a candybar...all hard chocolate outside and all gooey caramel and nougat inside. or even better, like a cadburry egg (tis the season!) that you gotta thump to crack open and then all the sweet gooey goodness comes oozing out. once you go susan, you dont go back, baby, yeah!!! lol! noone can eat me just once? hmmmm, thats not so cute...! lol! [insert your own clever twist on a commerical slogan here]

Delicious is a great example of onomatopoeia -- words that sound like what they are. I admit to having to look that up to spell it correctly.

I would be interested to meet your sister, Mr. P. They've got to be fantastically amazing, and they've obviously taught you a few things. Hopefully, in return, you've taught them that not all guys are jerks and that they are way better than being treated like shit. I think that's what bugs me about people and relationships -- too many people, including susan in at least two instances -- have little enough regard to themselves that they will stay with a "partner" who treats them like shit. NO ONE DESERVES THAT. Ever.

Susan can give you a rundown on how much I've learned in the communications department -- I don't like to talk to people and let them inside my walls and shields. Most people have to prove to me that they are worth it and will not take advantage of my soft, nougaty center (yes, contrary to popular belief, it does exist. I just don't normally admit it.) Writing is easier, although I occasionally find myself censoring a little because, in theory, my mother could read the blog. Of course, she'd have to find it and she doesn't surf, but she did learn to use amazon.com, so she could theoretically find the blog. It's public. But I'm talking to friends I trust, and somehow, that includes Daniel whom I've never spoken to off-blog. Btw, where is he?

Okay, off to potluck it up. Like grad school, only with young, poor semi-professionals.
Joyeaux Friday, all.

(PS Thanks, Mark. :) )

Ah, Passion. Can barely live with it sometimes, can't live without it. Life is truly delicious.

In other exciting news, Family Guy is returning to TV next year. Sometimes the little people actually win one now and again.

Kate, you know me--I apologize at the drop of a hat if I think I have offended, especially when a lady is involved. Glad to hear it was not the case this time. Yeah, the kid thing didn't work out for me, but that certainly wasn't the reason for the breakup... maybe it had something to do with me cursing the girl out and making her cry on my birthday in front of some our friends... who knows? Anyway, the whole ex-girlfriend saga I'll save for another post.

As far as meeting people, I've met all my girlfriends (three) through friends. School was probably number one as far as places go for meeting people. Work would be the next best place, but none of those relationships took off for one reason or another. And as for bars/clubs... well, I've finally had my couple of successes, but nothing went past a weekend there. Now don't get me wrong--I know who is 90% to blame for my lack of female contact... I see him in the mirror every morning. That's why I've finally made some adjustments this year.

Now the night I met Kate, that was a great night. As she said, we were the moral support folks for our two friends who met (online, oddly enough) and were going out on their second date. Kate, it's funny that you mention when you met your current guy, you pretty much trusted him even though you barely knew him... early in getting to know you, I realized I trusted you implicitly with my life, despite barely knowing you. Meeting you struck a chord with me the likes of which I have never experienced before or since... and if there's one thing I know for certain in life, it's that I couldn't stand the thought of us not being friends. 'Nuff said.

Kate, most of the women I've known find it difficult to communicate about their feelings, especially about their hopes, dreams, and fantasies. They don't want to speak honestly about the way the feel, they don't like talking about sex. They aren't open-minded. They don't think about life's larger picture. I don't find myself respecting them intellectually. I think the biggest thing is they don't have the Passion... or if they do, they don't show it to me. It's like they're going through the motions, and have no interest in anything besides the more mundane aspects of life. They are more conservative, more conformist in general than you and Susan. It's a pain, too, because I learn more about myself through getting to know other people. Getting to know you, for example, made it easier for me to be me.

BTW, in case any of the women I have come across in life are reading this (especially my sisters), if you're reading this, you clearly do not belong in the "most of" category I was referring to above. Never hurts to cover that a$$ every now and again :)

Passion is the key to life. I would absolutely hate being part of The Man’s Machine if I didn’t love architecture, preservation, and believe that what I do is important in a larger scheme of things. It’s not Mother Theresa’s work, and I’m not handing out fake legs, but still, it means something to me and to the people that I work with. I’ve been slowly reading The Soul of Sex, and I can’t currently remember the author’s name, but basically, he talks about finding the passion we seek in the bedroom in our lives as a whole. That way, we actually get what we want/need/seek sexually, but it is because we live our lives fully. La Vie Boheme, susan, la vie. (Rent is actually coming to Bismarck, but it will be the week I’m visiting my mom for her birthday. Suck.) Speaking of which, this blog is a little like an outgrowth of the column. I think I still have those somewhere. Good times, good times.

Mark, I didn’t mean to sound even remotely judgmental about the dating parents thing. I probably did, though. I would gather than a woman being a mother would not necessarily be your ideal first choice for a lifemate, and that the reason that relationship didn’t work out for you was because it wasn’t right – I don’t know you to be a judgmental person, although like all of us, you are probably occasionally irrational. Frankly, dating a parent SUCKS. Relationships (capital “r”) are difficult enough to figure out, logistically and emotionally, that adding another person and another relationship to the mix makes things a gazillion times harder. Again, in my case, the guy is worth it. It’s like the thing susan was talking about: the sparks and flames and clicks. We met at a mutual friend’s house (still unclear whether this was a setup) and seemed to click – he was just easy to talk to and, coming from a relationship with a few communication issues (understatement), this seemed like the best possible thing in the world. We went out hiking – as friends, only – and had a great time. The funny thing is that I apparently trusted him. We were out in the middle of NOWHERE and I couldn’t have found my way home with a map. And we were alone. And he wasn’t a mass-murdering psycho. Which is good. Anyway, the point is that he is someone that I am comfortable with, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and that’s a big deal to me. His parenthood played little into my decision to get involved, although it has caused me some angst since. Oh well.

I think the deal with meeting people is that you have to be out somewhere where you may meet new people. Redundant sounding, I know. What I mean is that if you can find things to do where you may meet people, just in general, then you may also meet someone worth dating. You meet people in the weirdest ways – I met Mark by tagging along on someone else’s second date. Longish story made short – we were both friends of the couple attempting to date. Weird, but worth it. I’m glad we met, and honestly, glad we didn’t date, since you are one of the coolest guys I’ve met and we probably wouldn’t be speaking if we’d dated and broken up (that never really works out like you might want it to!). Besides, your Floridian ass would freeze up here – you were cold in Georgia! A reasonable number of women have dated gamers who don’t know how to live without that controller in their hands, or how to do other activities. I think that may be part of the turn-off. Maybe you should reserve that information until after you’ve spent a little non-tv related time with a woman?

Would I fuck Moz? Maybe. I think he fell off my couch after that concert. The music, still good. Still speaks to my soul on the correct occasions. I would definitely take an opportunity to spend all night talking to him. He has an interesting perspective to offer the world. I do wonder what his appeal is to Hispanic inner city youths, though. I would have liked an explanation from Chuck Klosterman on that.

I’m curious, Mark. What is it that makes Susan and me so different from the other women that you’ve met? I’ve heard that comment, or similar ones, before. Why?

Oh, and on the all guys are the same thing: nah. There are a lot of people in the world who suck. Who don’t give a shit about anyone, not even themselves. These people are worth avoiding. But they are not the whole picture of humanity, and the people who don’t suck are worth seeking out, getting to know, and holding onto.

ooooohhhh ooooooohhhh oooooooohhh perhaps the fire is coming back..........there will be both a NEW morrissey album in may and and and a NEW subdudes album in april!!! they have reunited!!! just for me im sure!!! yeeeeesss! i am so psyched you cant even imagine! i went looking on limewire and have even found 2 new songs from morrisseys new album that i am listening to right as i speak...theyre...interesting...um, the first one "i have forgiven jesus" (gotta love the title) has fake electronic drumbeats in it...a change of pace...but its moz so we forgive him...but its somewhat catchy...which reminds me i need to mail kt the interview with moz from esquire...turns out hes living in LA! go fig! "the world is full of crashing bores..." despite fucking me over at that concert years ago, i love you moz! all hail moz! maybe its time for a new church of morrissey website?! hmmmm..... ah moz, your cooly cyncial and comicly melodramatic lyrics combined with your crooning voice get me all warm everywhere! lol! heres a question for kt, would you fuck moz? "and i will die with both of my hands untied..." oh yeah, i love him!!! i like this song "irish blood, english heart." very guitar driven but good. and the name of the album "you are the quarry" oh yeah baby! needless to say i will be waiting with anticipation for the upcoming months to show themselves. i will actually buy these albums in the store!!! lol!

Now, Susan--I thought we discussed this--you're not permitted to get your hopes up about anything because were you (God forbid) to actually become happy, this blog would dry up in seconds ;)

That's cool that you got some good financial info--I once went to American Express Financial Advisors several years ago... this guy and this lady show up in suits (I was in jeans and a T) and gave me this whole spiel about how many Fortune 500 companies use their services... at this point I didn't own a house, not even a car (still under my parents)... I'm thinking their presentation was a little overkill for a guy who didn't have any stocks or major assets, but that's just me... anyway, I'm seriously considering going back now that I have a house and a car and I probably need to start investing for my retirement, assuming I actually live that long...

You know what one of my major pet peeves is? To see someone lose that fire, that passion. Without it, what good is most anything in life? Susan, you are hereby forbidden to lose your passion--and that goes for the rest of you, and everyone out there in the audience. You still can't get your hopes up, though :) Oh and as far as you making the first move--guys who don't appreciate that don't deserve how good they have it.

I think the trick to cultivating your personality is that you still have to adhere to a sense of normality. In other words, you can't really throw your whole personality out there if you want to be accepted by the majority of folks. Most of my friends know only parts of my true personality, but my closest friends know pretty much all there is to know. Except for the fact that I killed a bunch of people once. Once in awhile, you'll get lucky and meet someone that you can truly be yourself with. For example, most people consider me to be a relatively intelligent guy. But I can see the bewilderment on people's faces when I tell them I watch professional wrestling on a regular basis. I've actually seen women lose interest when I mention I work with computers or play video games, despite the fact that they don't even come close to defining me as a person. Anyway, it all depends on how important it is to you to be well-liked. But, as usual, I digress.

On the crayola thing--you hit it right on the head... guys ARE pretty much the same, so that also means there are some colored ones that are decent, unlike most of the ones you seem to have come across lately.

a'ight, i just got back from my tax appointment and i am officially getting back around $800! not as much as i hoped but better than owing $3000! and the cool thing is that ive been busting my ass working extra part-time jobs to save up $3000 in time for april 15th that i think i have enough to pay off my credit card now! yippee!!! those bastards are going into the fucking shredder! and another cool part of my little counseling session thingy today was that i learned that if you pay your credit card or student loans or even car payment twice a month (every 14 days) then you cut your payment time in half! these loans are simple interest loans which means interest is recalculated based on the outstanding amount you owe so this whole 14 day thingy works to cut your time down dramatically. so, i can buy a car and have a montly payment of $300 that if i pay in two parts of $150 twice a month will cut a 5 years loan term into 2.5 years. if i pay a little extra every time i pay it cuts the term down even more. makes sense but i never thought about it. very cool huh?! and if i do this with my student loans it means i could be done with them in like 15 years instead of 30! very very cool. so this chick i met with is gonna do like a whole profile of my debt and stuff and be able to tell me when i can be debt free and help me save money better and stuff like that. and its all for free! the tax stuff wasnt but hey, i cant complain about that! she also gave me the names of a couple of car brokers who can get me my new mini cooper for wholesale! she said using a broker saves me an assload of money so we shall see. and kt, as for the mini cooper, its not a toy!!! its actually a very safe car that performs well and has gotten quite a few good reviews...its made by BMW for fucks sake! i of course havent test-driven one yet, but we shall see. it does mean that i have to drive a stick...which i know how to do, but i just need practice in! im nervous about test-driving it and doing something dumb! lol! so anyways, looks like there may be light at the end of the tunnel afterall! who fucking thought, eh?

as for dating, ugh, im so over it. where did the days go when you met somebody and it was all sparks and fire? now its just, eh, he doesnt really fit me well, gotta move on. i havent had the fire in ages it seems and it doesnt feel like it used to. is it me just becoming numb after a multitude of shitty and abusive asshole guys or is it just growing up? i miss the flames, i really do. seems like the excitement in life is gone and i dont know where it went. it probably hit the road with my innocence a decade ago. ugh! but as for women making the first move, ive found that many times it freaks guys out. being an outspoken and sometimes agressive woman has its disadvantages. like i mentioned to mark the other day, cultivating a unique and original personality can be alienating. then again, as he pointed out, its the people who see beyond all the bluster and wackiness and make an attempt to get closer that are the ones you want to keep. true true, but still frustrating. and as my tax lady pointed out when she asked me about my expenses and was asking about things i did on a regular basis as an extra expense, i had to sit there and admit i didnt do anything extra and thus have no extra expenses for hobbies or social activities...how sad and lame. she said i needed to get out...thats true. there just isnt anything i find all that interesting to go out and do. i tried the whole continuing education writing class which was a total joke and im not into clubs and bars. i also have lame-ass friends who cant make a solid social plan to save their lives...or else have families they are permanently tied to forever. so, thats why i turned to internet dating, but the declining returns are why im quitting it. and the whole eharmony thing doesnt fucking work either...its worse than yahoo. i have yet to meet anyone i have emailed regularly or spoken to on the phone or gone out to meet. it sucks ass. so, now im stuck, i dont have the yahoo marketing tool (which is really all it was) anymore and i dont get out ever and i dont believe in picking people up at kroger or whatnot, so im pretty much fucked when it comes to ever meeting anyone. i guess its not that bad of a thing considering that in my 5-year plan (and yes kt it really exists!!!) im probably not going to be in atlanta seeing as how the fbi tends to drop you wherever they want to. eh, whatever, im apparently unloveable anyways...lol!

and as for dating the other colored crayons in the box, i doubt that will solve my problems. i think most guys are alike although there are cultural differences which sometimes makes guys worse assholes than they normally are...lol! like ive said before, other colored guys just havent really presented themselves...well, other than alan the hispanic meat boy who is so in love with me. too bad hes got a baby and an ex-stripper girlfriend and has like 3 dui's and basically works in the publix meat dept for a living. oooh yeah, thats a great catch now isnt it! lol! i could also probably make 10 grand by marrying an illegal and having his greencard baby, but im not really looking to go that route either! lol! yeah, they apparently do that, bizarre i know. so yeah, like i said, im fucked...or not as the case may be...although there apparently are a ton of guys who would love to fuck me, just not anything else than that. i cant figure out if that speaks well of me, guys wanna fuck me cause they think im cute or they think im great in the sack or whatever, or if it says they think im easy prey and thus im a loser because a bunch of guys wanna fuck me...hmmm...the jurys still out on that one. its all a bunch of horseshit anyways and i think id have to meet a fucking gq model/genius/sensitive rockstar guy who loathes money but who isnt dirt poor with no prospects at this point to be impressed...how very sad, how very sad. theres just way too many bullshit people out there. they should all be euthanized really. think how great things would be if all the fuckers were gone...ah paradise. lol! itd just be more complicated bullshit i bet...ugh! every day is just one day closer to death...! lol!

Like I said, I make enough to where I really haven't had to worry too much about doing whatever I want to do. Also, it's my second year in my house, and I think the large return is mostly due to that.

I'm certainly not the spokesperson for the entire male race, but I will say this... when it comes to sex, I can separate the physical from the emotional. I could have sex with someone I didn't even like as a person, and it wouldn't bother me. However, having sex with someone I care about is probably the single best experience to be had in life. So the short story goes like this: If I'm free, I'm all over the place. If I'm taken, she's the one for me. Obviously, I'd prefer to be with one person, but barring that, I'll take whatever I can get. Sounds pretty callous, I'm sure, but I'm just being honest.

Older guys, I think, have learned that there's more to life than sex. They have also been around long enough to realize that women in general don't give in to the whole sex for sex's sake thing. When I was with my college ex, who I still think I probably should have married, I still hadn't had the sexual experiences most guys feel the need to complete before settling down--no one night stands, that sort of thing. I gave up that relationship to put myself back out there. For a couple of years, nothing happened... but finally, I had a couple of wonderful experiences that let me know that despite being a CS dork, I still had what it took to take someone home from a club. It may sound stupid to you, but that sort of thing is pretty important to most guys. Now I'm at the point to which I don't feel like I need to be out there scoring points. I want to find one woman to focus my attention on. Doesn't mean I won't screw around, given the chance :)

As far as the signed permission slip to touch a woman... I've always been timid... to a point. The thought of making a move and being rejected nearly makes me sick to my stomach. However--in certain situations, if I'm attracted enough to someone, I can't help myself--I'll be extremely forward. I can only think of one situation I've been in, however, where the girl made the first move, and that was a thing of beauty. I was telling Susan earlier today that you and she are unlike 98% of women I've come across in life... I think I would have a completely different outlook on the subject if I had met more girls like you two. Oh well, coulda shoulda woulda.

Further, I'm certainly not saying no one should date anyone older, divorced, and/or with kids. You like what you like. All I know is dating someone with a kid didn't exactly work out for me (there's more to it than that), and I'm not sure I'd want to go into another similar relationship. But who knows? I could pass up "the one" with thinking like that.

Mark, you must make a shitload of money to be getting it back from W. But then again, the Techie status is worth something! I personally am afraid to file, seeing as how last year I had an income of negative nearly $1000. Seriously. I’ve made some money for the first time in my life, and I don’t want to pay it out!

Are all men really just hormonal freaks with no self-control? I realize the “take matters into my own hands” guy is a way out there example, but here’s my question: do men really just want sex, or are they socialized to believe that sex is an end in and of itself? Are there men who want more than someone to stick it into? It isn't as though women (the ones who are honest about it) don't think about inappropriate sex with inappropriate people, but most of us are socialized to make sex into some sort of sacrament. While I don't think that is necessary, it isn't worth it to me to bother having sex with someone I don't care about. It isn't the alpha and omega of meaning in life, but it does mean something. Or should, I guess, in my opinion.

I guess my personal experiences have been vastly different than Susan’s. I meet men who are interested in more than that (or maybe I filter out the ones who don’t without too much thought). In fact, I usually find men who are way more interested in permanent commitments than I am. And I don’t know your story, Mark, but I’m currently dating a 40 year old, divorced, single father, and I’m not finding it to be too horrific. There are a lot of logistical things that you don’t have with a non-parent, compounded by the fact that he has sole custody and she lives out of state. And it isn’t easy, admittedly. But in my opinion, he’s worth it. This could be helped by several factors: one, I don’t want kids. Two, if I decided I wanted them, I would try adoption probably. Worked okay for me. I guess I can’t see having kids when there are too many people in the world already and I would be responsible for bringing one more luckless soul in to this godforsaken society. There are plenty of children who don’t have a place to be, a family to be with, and while I don’t know that I’d be great at this whole parenting shtick, if I decide to try, I don’t feel the need to create another person to inflict myself on. Plus, and this is something you don’t have to worry about, pregnancy scares me shitless. No interest whatsoever in going through that, honestly.

I did a little reading and asked around a little, but as I understand it, AA forbids members to date for one year. The point of joining AA is supposed to be that you realize that you have a problem and you decide to deal with it. Alcoholics are often using the drug to escape parts of their lives they feel incapable of handling, and so need to deal with the original problems, the addiction, and the problems they created through their addictions. It’s about dealing with yourself and having time to do so, neither of which is facilitated by engaging in a Relationship. Also, I think there is some psychological evidence that people with addictive personalities are prone to redirect the addiction. Even if not becoming codependent on a new person (rather than the alcohol), a relationship takes away from the “me” time. Besides, the dude is Obviously fucked up in some extra ways, beyond alcoholism. How gauche!

Oh, and Mark? You don’t need a signed permission slip to make a move. If the general signs point to yes, and you can screw up your courage and face a little potential rejection, move on in and PAY ATTENTION. She will either respond or not, and let the chips fall as they will. 98% of the time, both people know what’s coming and there is a stretched out moment of anticipation – during which one who is absolutely not interested can back away. Otherwise, it’s a great moment, worth the wait. And maybe, if you get lucky, she'll make the first move.

Well, when you're not the sort to pick up women at bars/clubs, you've exhausted what few options you had at work, and you just don't come into contact with women all that often... then it's time to hit The Net(tm) to find your next ex. This is my second try at Internet dating. On the first run, I met a VERY attractive woman (what are the odds of that online?), but she had a daughter, and I decided not to pursue it. She also seemed to be husband-shopping. I plan to give the Yahoo thing about another month myself, and then call it quits. But so far, I can't really say anything negative about the experience besides the hits I get from divorced 40 year olds with three kids.

What's funny is I just got a hit from an attractive 34 year old, and I responded that I'd be willing to talk to her. The funny part is I forgot to look at the one field I'm most interested in, and that is "Has Kids". Even worse, she has a picture of this kid on her profile. So of course, she responded back wanting to talk and admitted that was her son. I'm wondering if I should tell her that my last relationship was with someone who had a kid, and I'm not really keen on trying it again, or if I should just see where it goes. It'll be just my luck I'll actually like the chick. I can see it right now. Am I wrong for wanting my own kids, not someone else's? Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just a personal preference.

Susan, good luck with your taxes. Say what you want about George Dubya, but thanks to him I got a bit extra in my tax return stocking this year :)

yeah i know, if it was gonna happen it wouldve by now. besides, if he does like me and treats me in some of the less than friendly and frankly disrespectful ways he does i shouldnt want him anyways. it just annoys me that i have a hard time getting over him. i see him one day a week but when i do im all googley. its those damn blue eyes. dammit dammit dammit.

as for the other date, yeah, pretty fucking unbelievable! when i told kt about it she was appalled. it was amusing needless to say! lol! mark, i never knew you internet dated...although it shouldnt be a surprise considering your techie status! do you have an ad or what? and if so, tell me where because i am dying to see it! like the lame-ass i am i have a yahoo ad...for like the next week and then its o-vah...done wasting my fucking time. so ill show you mine if you show me yours! lol!

on brighter news, i found a financial planner! i am meeting with her tomorrow morning and am bringing the docs and info she needs to fix my fucked up taxes! she told me a list of things i could deduct and it adds up to almost $10,000! my school loan interest alone was like $4000! its funny how you end up spending an assload on things but never realize it until you add up the monthly expenses! so does this mean that i subtract those amounts from my tax liability? so does that mean i might get an assload of benjamins back? im such a financial shithead...and i even took a tax law class in law school! lol! but hey, wouldnt it be cool if i could pay off my credit card and then put a down payment down on a mini cooper? schweet! and yes, i am getting a union jack on the roof thank you very much...i dont care how cliched it is, kt! but alas, i shouldnt get my hopes up...frankly ill be happy if i can just have to pay like a grand instead of three...but free money aint bad either! to quote a song from james, "help comes when you need it most..." its funny how that works isnt it?!

Susan... I'm just gonna shoot straight with you. Odds are not in your favor that the Mike situation is going to work out the way you want it to. However, you probably at least need to just come out with it and see what he says. I'd find it hard to believe he hasn't already summed up the situation and just doesn't want to have to tell you he may not feel the same way. If he had half the feelings you have on the situation, it would have come up by now. That's my guess, but I wouldn't go on that alone, if I were you :)

As for the other date, you'd better believe I'm gonna tell you men are horndogs and will fuck anything. It's TRUE for the most part, whether you guys (ladies, rather) choose to believe it or not. Primal instincts can be kind of difficult to ignore, especially when you haven't had a chance to exercise them in some time... not that I'd know, of course ;)

Your latest contestant, however, failed miserably. He should at least have enough sense to realize that his advances weren't going to get him where he wanted to go without actually having to beg or much less discuss with you "taking matters into his own hands". That's just plain wrong. But you see how far people are willing to go to get what they want, in terms of him acting the gentleman for the earlier part of the evening.

As for why you seem to attract the sort--I wouldn't waste too much time thinking it's something you're doing wrong. You're just finding out a lot of men have certain traits in common... also, that girls who put themselves on Internet dating sites are whores, which we all know to be true anyway. I'm kidding, I'm kidding :)

By contrast, I have been on two Internet dates recently, in neither case did I even so much as touch the girl involved. Both were rather pleasant lunch dates involving a lot of getting-to-know-you type discussion. I'm pretty much wired to the point where I can't so much as touch a woman with a signed consent form OR the most obvious of hints that such a move would be welcome. Doesn't mean I don't have the same raging hormones as your "please go down on me" friend, just that I respect women a tad bit more than that. For my efforts, I saw one of the girls the next day. I went to Miami that weekend and came back looking forward to seeing the one girl again. Alas, she reported that in the few days I had been gone "one of her ex-boyfriends came back into her life and was able to give her what she needed". Go figure. Think I have a couple more contestants lined up... I'll let you know if I meet any whores. Although, I do think I met one chick whose personal ad is a front of some kind--check out the email she sent me:

'Hi, Thanks for the email. I'm writing this one time to tell you I cannot write each guy at his personal email address. I would never get away from the computer :-). But I always check my messages over at www.jungledates.com. I'd love to chat with you there. It's a really nice and unique place. Come on over.

**hug**'

Anyone else think this is akin to spam? Personally, I love the part about "each guy". Just out of curiosity, I signed on to the other site, and sure enough, she has a similar ad over there. I decided to just not pursue the matter, however.

a'ight, the date from last week. it was a random guy i met online, as most of them are. he was sorta cute in that slightly grungy but not dirty rock n roll way. he had brown curly hair (cute) and green eyes (very cute) and was quite slim. he was fairly funny and almost clever and was generally amusing to hang out with. we went to eat at this diner and then he suggested we do something after. i said ok so we ended up going to his place to "watch videos." naturally, it wasnt really to watch videos, but me, being a shithead, didnt realize that part until later. he had been nothing but a gentleman the entire time so i didnt think anything of it. yes, i am naive apparently. so we get to his place and we sit on the couch and chat for a while. and then he does this cute can i kiss you question schtick which was amusing and of course i didnt mind him kissing me...so far that is... so things get more involved and he just keeps smashing his face against mine...that is just poor kissing form! as he tries to accelerate things i let him know that im not gonna fuck him. i was cool with general goofing around but no oral sex or intercourse...i think thats reasonable...i dont even know him for fucks sake! so he keeps trying to push it and is like begging me to suck him off...seriously, begging. i continue to tell him that im not gonna do anything like that and then he makes some comment about going to jack himself off in the bathroom...for fucks sake, thats just rude! it was at this point where i was thinking, "why the fuck am i here, this guy is a shithead!" so since he wasnt gonna get some 'tang from me he decided to call it a night and i left. oh, i forgot the best part...he said, as part of his sales pitch, that he loves to go down on women, its his favorite thing to do. ok, anybody who uses that line is 1) a shithead, 2) a liar, and 3) only looking to score 'tang. for fucks sake, how do i end up with these fuckers? oh, and he was in AA, yep alcoholics anonymous...for 2 months...thats it. 2 months aint shit.

and i have yet to figure out what it is about me that attracts these fools. we hadnt talked much prior to meeting and i cant imagine what in my yahoo profile would say hey come fuck me cause im a whore...! i dont know if its just bad luck or something else. and im a cop, hes gonna pull that shit with a cop?! seriously, guys, whats my problem? im seriously not hard up right now for male lovin' (im frankly too tired and too busy!) so i know im not sending out that vibe. what else could it be? and dont use that cliche that all guys are horndogs who will fuck anything they can...thats bullshit! hey, at the very least, he was totally computer illiterate! thats at least a step in the right direction!

anyways, on to other bullshit...i finally gave mike his b-day gift... i of course explained to him prior to that that i wasnt sure i wanted to give it to him as 1) he forgot my birthday which 2) hurt my feelings (a lot!!!) and 3) he never calls me back when i call and 4) he never remembers our tentative plans and 5) then is never reachable via phone when i try to call him about finalizing the plans, all of which 5) hurt my feelings (a lot!!!). he said he would make it up to me about my birthday but then said he was tired and didnt feel like being lectured about everything else...i thought that part was rude. i explained to him that i wasnt trying to lecture, just to tell him where i was coming from and how i felt. anyways, the pushover i am gave him the fucking gift, a harley davidson cb radio. when he opened it it looked like he was about to stroke out...hes 40 so its possible...he immediately said that it cost too much and that i shouldnt have gotten it, yada yada yada. i said the usual dont worry about its of course. then mike said, "i would hug you, but people might get mad." we were outside the precinct in our uniforms so thats reasonable. but, but, whats with the hug deal?! he would hug me?! ok, if you gave me the heisman (thats assuming of course because we HAVENT FUCKING TALKED ABOUT IT LIKE ADULTS AT ALL!!!) why would you risk me thinking the wrong thing by saying you would hug me and/or actually hugging me? perhaps hes just a dumb boy and this never occurred to him. im tellin ya, mixed fucking signals. he still touches me and flirts and says stuff like, "you know i love you, but..." for fucks sake man, quit it!!! perhaps the issue is all in me...as if i need him to say, hey you stupid bitch i dont like you like that because youre (ugly/a freak/too much like a boy and not enough like a girl/my co-worker/a psycho wackjob/etc...?). ugh! i hate him the fucker! get your head screwed on straight you dumbass and just fucking jump me already! shit!

but yes, we should talk...shouldnt we? my cop friend mary said i should just ask him, hey is there something here because sometimes i get these vibes from you... she said it so calmly and matter of factly as if i can deliver that question like that. ..scheesh. but she suggested we go out to dinner as a make-up gift for my birthday and i bring it up then. i just feel like i cant discuss this without feeling like a shithead. ugh! guess its like goin to the gyno or dentist or something, uncomfortable as fuck but necessary. anyways, please advise me oh wise ones. im sure youre all like, fucking talk to him already so we dont have to hear this shit anymore! fuck, this is about as exciting as my life gets...pretty sad, huh?! i am so fucked...lol!

First off, I've got no complaints about the changes to the site. I definitely like the less girly look.

As far as the side job doing webpages goes, I really have no idea what people charge. A friend of mine got paid a couple hundred per job doing a few sites on the side, so that $750 might not be too bad a figure. I would definitely ask around and see what folks typically charge for something like that. I've somehow managed to shy away from all things HTTP-design related. The one website I did have was pretty terrible--I referred to it as "The Best of Text" :)

Incidentally, I think I've officially lost my appetite for all things sausage related...

Okay, I just changed my links and added a few new ones, but the formatting is screwed up and I don't know how to fix it. I've not learned a bit of programming since Basic, and I've forgotten most of that.

Now, I am off to be a preservation missionary, bringing the light of our built historic environment shining into the dark lives of everyday people.

ok, my net boys, i need advice. ive been asked to design a webpage for this guy who works with jeff, my metrosexual trainer. its a dog kennel business thing and he just needs some basic webpage stuff and logo design, nothing too fancy (although im trying to get my hands on macromedia flash to see if i can learn how to use it and can implement it in some webpages...). ive looked on the web at web page design firms to see what they charge and didnt find much. i did find one site that quoted the industry averages for different types of projects (they referenced some industry mags and organization figures...). seems that the industry average for basic business-type web pages is around $2500 for web page and logo design services. i dont think i can or would ask for that much for a fee but i was wondering what you guys thought was a fair fee to ask for. im gonna be doing quite a bit of image manipulation (scanning, cleaning up, etc), logo design, and basic pages about the dogs they breed and contact info, etc. i will also be setting up the web hosting stuff and i assume i will be updating the page from time to time. it will take some time but it isnt anything too too fancy or complicated. plus, im not a professional so i dont feel like its fair for me to ask an exorbitant price, but i also dont want to undercut myself by asking too little. so, what do you guys think? what should i ask for for a fee? i was thinking around maybe $750 for everything? as an off-duty cop my usual fee for part-time jobs is usually $25/hour so i could do an hourly rate but i dont want to charge them more if i need more time to figure out how to do something im not as familiar with, etc. i think a flat fee is better. so, please, tell me what you think my business consultant boys! lol!

I like everything except that I think the title gets lost. I love the new font, though. Plus, your red tone is warm enough to be a little girly, but girly with an edge. I give it 9/12 thumbs up.

I may have lost some of my status as an Irish-American yesterday -- I make a really mediocre corned beef. Sigh. And generally, domestic as it is, I'm a pretty good cook when I try. But when you disappoint yourself, with a quintessential dish of your ethnic heritage (ethnicity being Irish-American, not Irish), it's sad. For the record, I don't know that the Irish themselves traditionally eat corned beef. That's an American incarnation.

Okay, on the sausage comments, which I never answered, vienna sausages are rare. I've never seen one. I know they exist from testimonies (unless you meet vienna sausage criteria, likelihood is that size hasn't been discussed with the s.o.'s girlfriends until after you break up). Any of the variety of hot dogs is good, bratwurst are okay (although really on the "bent" side of things there, aren't we?), Italian sausage works. Summer sausage is a definite "no." It's a combination of things. Basically, I think it boils down to the fact that certain people fit together better than others. Most people can fit together, but need to find a way.

Gotta Go now!

DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!

a'ight people, we've got our new look! a slightly different vibe than i was at first planning on but i think it works. i would like to think this new look is a little more "edgy" and "snarky" and more ambisexual (we didnt need to continue to alienate the boys with pinks and purples!). please, tell me what you think! dont forget, i was struggling all day with this and came up with several (shitty) incarnations, but finally just two minutes ago was able to get what i had wanted from the beginning. i guess staring at a computer screen all day doesnt help...i just got back from a "date" so i guess i saw things with fresh eyes. im tired so im gonna leave the "date" story till later. it also ties into the vienna sausage reference for ya danny boy so the mystery will finally be solved. off to finally get some fucking sleep for a change. going for five days in a row with a few hours of sleep sucks ass!

I'll certainly agree with you that people in general don't seem to be happy. They obviously haven't watched enough Sifl and Olly :)

Who knows--for me, my father taught what I consider the most important lesson I've ever learned in life about ten years ago. He simply taught me to appreciate my life for what it is. For all the crap that has happened to me, I can't even come close to complaining about my life. I fully recognize that I am blessed and lucky to have lived the life that I have. If I die tomorrow, I die a happy man, despite the fact that I'm only 29. I've lived long enough to become my own man, to finally take care of myself, and to finally be able to give back to my parents for taking care of me for so long. This is going to sound corny as hell, but there is a big, beautiful world out there, full of interesting people, places, and things. Now I know not everyone is in a position to take advantage of life, but I seriously believe you can find happiness in the smallest of places. Anyway, I can go on like this for days. Point is, you can't wait for happiness. You're not going to "reach" happiness. You have to take it wherever you can get it. By force, preferably ;)

As far as money goes, it's my pure hatred for money issues to a great degree that drove me to where I am today. I was driven to succeed anyway, but I wanted to make sure that when I grew up, I didn't have the extra stress of worrying about if I could afford this or that. I had a nervous breakdown in class my senior year in high school because that whole year, the rest of family told me there was no way my father could afford to send me out of state to college, and my dad said I should go wherever I wanted. Ten years and a BS in CS from GT later, here I am. I make enough such that I have been able to do pretty much anything I want, including get up and leave the country for a week at a time several times (I'm off to Ireland in two months). I've done a pretty awful job of saving money and preparing for retirement (ask any of my friends), but I have zero credit card debt--I never carry a balance. My problem is I have no one else to live for. No wife, no family. Hence, no incentive to save for the future. My overwhelming passion for grabbing life by the throat and punching it repeatedly overrides my apathy for saving for a future I may or may not have. Anyway, enough about me. I'm happy--I wish I could help other people find the happiness in their own lives the way I have in mine, but so far I don't think I've really managed to do that. Won't stop me from trying, though.

So as for what money gets us... Money gets us everything that without money, we would more than likely have to take by force. Money is the focus of so many things because It is the Great Enabler. It enables us to do things that we might normally not be able to do. Humans haven't really learned how to share and share alike enough to not need a system to balance this sort of thing out. If we phase It out, we don't have to wear the Star Trek uniforms. We will have to wear the quasi-futuristic gear sported in Austin Powers I.

First comment: Daniel, we get a very different sense of accomplishment when we actually physically do something. I think that that satisfaction is one of the saddest things we’ve lost in the technological revolution. I can write 5 letters, a press release, and half of a National Register nomination in a day, or I can spend that same time scraping and priming a quarter of a wall on an historic wood church. The latter leaves me more tired and more pleased with my day’s work. Just the way it is. Maybe this is one of the reasons people are generally dissatisfied with their lives: the pile of “finished” paperwork looks remarkably the same as the stuff still waiting to be done. You can’t point to a product as easily.

Second comment, also for Daniel: BULL SHIT. That nonsense at the end of your blog post about women wanting to be ravaged and not have to communicate about it tells me you’ve seen too much porn. I think that one of the reasons the majority of the women in America say they are unhappy with their sex lives (70 -90%, depending on the survey you’re quoting) is that they have bought into that myth, too. It’s like the Cinderella myth of relationships: once you’ve found the perfect partner (and the perfect dress), life is “happily ever after.” BULL SHIT. Working at something isn’t bad or wrong. It’s a good thing and it’s necessary. Back to maintenance-free, really. A myth. Oh, and the work/maintenance-free thing is a one-way street! Why would guys LIKE this idea? It means you do all the work. Yeah, you get a payoff, but still, it’s supposed to be a partner thing. Love for one can happen whenever you want it to. Maybe this is why fellatio has attained such mythical status – the one time men sit back and enjoy the ride....

Yes, occasionally, I would like to sit back and enjoy the ride, but most of the time, the ride includes a little steering from me. Passive reception of pleasure doesn’t work. I don’t think it works for most women, but they have this idea that participation is wrong. The majority of sex therapists, current and recent past, agree that both partners need to participate and communicate – even if it isn’t so much verbal as it is physical – for sex to be “good.” Honestly, I have NO problems “working” with my partner for an orgasm. The payoff is worth it, and I get more out of it. Great example of “you get out of it what you put into it.” (Although I think you could go gutter-like places with that comment...). Maybe you’re just meeting the wrong women.

Mark, I don’t know that we’re all screwed up. I do know that the majority of studies and most of my conversations show that people, in general, really aren’t happy. Some of it may be general disappointment. I know that Susan and I were both expecting to have the epiphany moment where adulthood just “clicked” and suddenly we felt we were on the right road, or something goofy like that. As though some of the struggle would just go away. Maybe that’s the problem – the struggle stays, but we want it to and we wouldn’t know what to do without it. Delayed gratification: I will be happy when (I get a raise, I get married, I lose 10 pounds, I stay on my diet, I have enough money to buy that....) And the list goes on.

As an anecdote, I had this nice feeling a few weeks back, on the highway. I was driving along, music up loud, sunny out, and just thought, Life is good. I’m in control, in the driver’s seat, know in which direction I’m traveling, and feel pretty good about it. Less than 10 minutes later, I rolled down my window to get a little fresh air, and the brand-new window I’d had installed 4 days earlier popped out of its rear track, scaring the shit out of me and making me feel completely out of control (I don’t deal well with car failures – I can’t fix them, so I don’t like them).

Anyway, I do think that the problem is that the bottom line defines us. Other nations are also capitalist, but don’t seem to have the widespread issues that we do. But then again, I only follow our news, and not necessarily that very well. I guess I have just never met anyone who thought that money would make them happy. It would be nice not to have to worry about it, but our economists have proved that the more money people make (keeping this conversation in the realm of normal, not extraordinarily wealthy), the more they borrow. So it seems that there isn’t “enough.” There’s just more and more and more. The gap between what you have and what you want doesn’t narrow as you get more, it stays the same.

What is it that money gets us? Why is that the focus of so many things? If we phase it out, do we all have to wear those uniform suits? I’d like the beaming method of transport, but the suits were all so gross. And everyone was relatively serious. So maybe Star Trek isn’t where we want to go.

Damn... Daniel, that sucks. A couple months ago one of my friends plugged up my toilet (please don't ask me to go into detail) and it overflowed overnight. I got up the next day to go to work only to hear once I got downstairs. That little fiasco set me back a couple grand.

Kate, I'm not really sure I'm ready to say that the whole American society is screwed up yet. We all know that money is truly the root of all evil, and it is really sad that it is responsible for 95% of the problems we have. But if we're going to live in a capitalist society, doesn't that pretty much go with the territory? Some people are going to have it easy, others are going to struggle. Is it fair? Of course not. It'd be nice if we phased out money, like in the Star Trek universe, but how do we get there from here?

I can't comment at all on the current presidential race, for I am the very definition of "uninformed voter". Looks like somewhere along the line, I got to thinking I couldn't really make a difference in most of the things that are going in this world, unless they were close enough for me to have a direct impact on them. Then I got jaded and lost almost all of my idealism. I haven't completely given up yet, mind you--I'm just looking for a place to jump in and help. But I have forsaken most external factors (politics especially) in favor of more internal factors (relationships with the people I'm around). I look for the little things I can do for the greater good, helping one person at a time.

I guess overall, however, I certainly don't disagree with you that asking the right questions is the key to solving the problems. I say we start right now. I'd like to hear some opinions on this.

Well, where the hell have I been? The answer, I found out Monday night that I had a leak in the water main on MY side of the meter. So Tuesday was spent getting estimates and researching plumbers with the BBB. Wednesday through Friday was spent actually getting the job done. Saturday and Sunday were spent trying to get the lawn to look somewhat decent. I've got a tremendous amount of dirt to sift through to get rid of rocks and have topsoil again, sod to order and lay down.... all in all, I should be completely recovered from this in 2 more months, to the tune of probably $3k, so Susan, I'm right there with you, kid. And I still gotta have my house painted.... groan.

Of course, work hasn't stopped just because I haven't been there. But the odd thing is, I haven't been online, I haven't been playing any games, I haven't been in front of the TV, even my guitar is feeling neglected...my back however, needs it's mouth washed with soap...but I feel quite good about my week. There is a sense of accomplishment, which is accompanying my ongoing sense of being overwhelmed by the remaining work to be done and the economics, but it was very pleasant to have some good old physical labor to do outside in the sun. I'm officially a redneck right now, in the literal sense of the word, not the baccer-chewin' sense.

And stop bashing American Cars!!! My first was a 1986 Ford Escort with 75k on it, I took it to 130k before selling it...had some problems along the way, but not many. We had a 4 cyl Chevy Corsica, I actually gave it to a friend of mine as a wedding present with 130k on it and he got it to almost 170k before his now ex-wife wrecked it. No major problems ever out of that car...aside from me hitting something once. Then the 4 cyl Sunbird, I just sold it to Carmax with 150k on it because the tranny started to act up and I thought it was just time to let go. So I now have a 96 Buick with 116k on it...the sunroof button does act up and I need to change or have the radiator redone, but she runs fine. My company car is a Grand Prix with 50k on it, no major problems yet, either. Oh, and the garage has a 1967 Mercury Cougar (another reason I don't need a new computer or new games or to be online)...she still runs too, but she needs some TLC. Didn't you people know I'm from Michigan originally? Half my family is in the UAW!

Here's something to consider, the vast majority of the greatest minds in our country dedicate themselves to military related engineering, as opposed to most other countries (i.e. - Germany, because of that whole ww thing, they can't) dedicate the best minds to industry. People always wanna blame the American worker, but Mercedes, BMW, Honda, Toyota all have assembly plants here in the states. All of them producing the same quality cars that they do overseas. It AIN'T the American worker.

The real problem is that businesses in the US are profit centric, not product centric. Despite the fact that profit should naturally follow improved product. Combine that with the indentured servant nature of our culture, and you've got issues. And the resiliency of our economy has been greatly affected by the cost of health insurance. Small businesses are key to the evolution of our economy, and by the looks of things?.(please don't tell dubya I used the "e" word!)

But to talk about political change, consider how change is accomplished in our country - percent concentrations of majority rule. Until enough people in enough different electorates get the shaft, change will not be enacted. I would think health care reform will be a major issue in the coming elections, but I don?t think it's bad enough yet. We've just gotta wait for the boomers to get another few years older, I guess.

In general however, I hate debates...I want a central website that has platforms on there for each candidate. And I want numbers backed up with sources. You gotta plan to fix my economy? Who has signed off on this? Has it been debated in the economics community by people who ought to know? "I will deliver health care and social security reform" isn't a platform, it's just a catch phrase.

But let's digress...

It's funny how you girls constantly refer to Vienna sausages. What are those things, like 2.5" long with a 3/4" diameter? Who has a dick that small, Tattoo from Paradise Island (RIP)? If that's all you need, men wouldn't be worried. Let's get into the real meat products. Will a simple frank do? Is it better to be ball park size or bun length? Or do you ladies really want a Johnsonville brat? Keep in mind, we're talking about uncooked product here, so that whole plump when you cook 'em shit is out.

Now, with regards to patience, Heinz is right?good things come to those who wait. Preheat that oven! Multitasking is important too, a meal isn't just about the main course (what's a burger without fries and a drink?). But, let's get down to it, most women want to be ravaged, they don't want to have to tell a man what feels good, and they certainly don't want to feel like this is a cooperative act, let alone a training session. So, while women are aware they should be more communicative, these things detract from your arousal and overall enjoyment, or so it would seem. This sounds like a double standard to me - I thought only men were allowed to have those?

And is this the longest post ever???

Do you all realize that people actually read our blog? I LOVE the comments! Thank you for reading!!!!

I know we all sound a little nuts, but I think that's because the status quo offered to each of us has been a little disappointing and we are all searching. I thought we were searching for answers, and I now know we are searching for the questions (or should be). As the comment on my last post said, how can we create anything better if we are not creative in our thinking?

Okay, I'm all fired up about things today, but I really have to go and do my job.

I just thought that I should share the epiphany I've had this evening: I have finally figured out not only what is wrong with our political debate, but what is wrong with our modern, United States society. We are asking the wrong questions. We debate political issues on television: everything boils down to the bottom line. We are talking about money, not life. It all boils down to the bottom line, it seems. Even our daily lives often center around or revolve around money. What the hell is money? Money is an abstract concept that is universally given great weight. But what does it mean? It means that we can purchase more thing, purchase more “happiness.”

In the recent primaries (caucus, in my state), I supported Dennis Kucinich. As he is still in the race, I still support his bid for the candidacy. I think what I have most learned from being a Kucinich supporter is how misleading the media can be. Kucinich, Sharpton, and Moseley-Braun were never taken seriously in their candidacy. Kucinich and Sharpton are still in the race, and still receive no attention from the mass media, which is unfortunately the place where most people get their information. Just for the record (since people don’t seem to know): DENNIS KUCINICH WON 30% OF THE VOTE IN HAWAII. This is only the most impressive of his accomplishments, but why are we making mockery of someone who has proven to be a viable candidate, if a long shot?

In truth, I was disappointed with Kucinich in most of the debates that I saw. I love his message and believe in it. And I think he conveys the majority of it well. He is of strong opinions, and he conveys his convictions. What I hate about political debates is that the candidates stump their platforms rather than actually answering the (somewhat inane) questions. Regardless of the content of the questions, I want to see a candidate who can LISTEN and then respond. That’s what I ask.

Regardless, I think that we, as a society (we being the United States of America) are like the misguided citizens of the universe in Douglas Adams’ “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe.” We are attempting to build a machine (in this case political) that can give us THE answer to THE question. In the book, the machine comes up with an answer: 42. And the creators of the machine realize that, irony of all: THEY DO NOT KNOW THE QUESTION.

As I learned in 7th grade, in science class, in order to perform a meaningful experiment, the first thing I need is a question, phrased in a way as to elicit potential answers. THE ASKING OF THE QUESTION IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT STEP IN THE PROCESS.

Well, what questions are we asking? What is it that we want out of life, and what do we need to get it? Shouldn’t these be the questions we are asking? And I call on politicians as a problem, but really, like feminism has said: the personal is political. We must decide what it is that we want out of life and structure and culture and society. We must form those questions as challenges to each other and the dominant paradigm, which is not currently serving most of us. We must then ask these questions of ourselves, of our friends, of our families, of our significant others, of our coworkers and acquaintances, and eventually, of our communities at large. What is it that we face as individuals, as families, and as communities, that our larger human group must address? Where do we begin?

We begin by asking the questions. We begin by asking the questions to which answers are needed.

Comments: No I don't have zapfino. Hmmm. I liked the girly look of the blog, but I'm thinking maybe it could use some updating. I don't like the way the pinkish font shows up on the lavender. It reminds me of ASC mauve, anyway. What about updating to use the lavender we already have with the sort of olive-lime from the Kerry banner as the other background color and the royal dark blue as the alternate font color? That would be my suggestion.

I've sent an email with font suggestions which hopefully came out in the font proposed. I like OzHandicraft or BernhardFashion best of the list. They aren't edgy, but they have some flair.

Last thought: maybe we need to archive a little more often? We are verbose and the page is long. I LOVE the comment at the bottom where a reader didn't realize there were four of us and thought we were one Sybil-like person. We would make quite a hydra, wouldn't we?

ugh! do you have the zapfino font on your computer? i wonder how common that is....it looks cool on my computer...dammit! the title bar and headers on the right bar should be in zapfino which is a cursivey kinda font thing which looks cool but may not apply to all computers...hmmmm.....you have any suggetsions on font changes or color and layout changes? i want something "edgy" and "snarky"....lol!

The font looks different, but not like cursive or decorative, really. Just slightly different proportions and bigger than before. And the title bar now looks weird.

ok, i goofed around with this some. i dont know if everyone can see the font i used or not....please let me know, its zapfino and its sort of like a cursive-y thing. also, any comments as to layout, color, etc, are happily welcome. im still goofing around and there may be more changes to follow...im just not satisfied somehow...hmm...

Nah, sometimes sharing just makes it worse. I find there's no problem that can't be solved without enough killing. Hope things get better for you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should accept a one-dimensional S.O.--far from it--just makes me sad that my gaming brethren don't realize there's more to life sometimes. Realistically, though, gaming is just another hobby like anything else... gotta learn moderation.

I suggest consulting the tax advisor who should be available to you through your department. It's worth a try to see if there are things you can do to reduce the amount you owe.

Who are you to talk about pithy, though, she-who-posts-novels? I don't LIKE being pithy and succinct. I was a liberal arts major. Long-winded is my degree-right. Same comments apply for making my metaphor too long for someone with an MTV attention span.

This wasn't bad press for gamers -- it was just a comment. In general, not always, but in general, people who game are less active socially (i.e. in person, not online). This is fine, but frustrating for a non-gamer who wants social interaction, not beating the crap out of each other with swords. I think to have a good relationship, you social tempos must be compatible. I'm perfectly happy just hanging out most of the time, but I do also like to go and DO stuff. I need someone similar.

So, enough meandering responses. Fuck. I'm having a bad day and issues, and I really just don't want to blog about it. I feel as though I should want to, and part of me does, and another part of me just doesn't want to share. Yep, I'm five years old again.

Well, Susan, that is quite the predicament. I do have one minor suggestion that would at least help with the taxes--move to Florida--no state income tax :) As far as everything else, you could consider a career change to the other side of the line--have you looked at today's organized crime lately? Also, I just watched the first episode of Season 3 of The Shield (great stuff if you haven't watched it)... maybe you could learn some stuff from that Vic Mackey guy.

I'm not trying to make light of your situation tho... credit card debt is serious business. I have a friend that continously spends, despite being tens of thousands of dollars in credit card debt--and this guy has a wife and two very young kids! But his parents will typically bail him out of trouble when necessary. Keep fighting the good fight, I say--if all else fails, there's always a place for you in my organization.

mark, you couldnt come up with a pithy one sentence description?! i even edited kt's down to its essence to streamline...work on it some, ok? lol! and danny boy, give a shit and send some content to me, boy!

well, no matter how hard i try, i just cant get ahead. ive been working a second job every saturday night (literally) and even some other days of the week (usually friday nights) for the last year in order to pay off my credit card. yes, i take total responsibility for the fact that a year ago i owed probably a total of like $9000 on two different credit cards. now im down to one card and just $2000, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...HOWEVER, that light is actually a train and its racing right towards me. i just did my taxes today (e-filed em like the fly cyber bitch i am) and guess how much i owe georgia and the federal govt...oh go ahead, guess...a total for both of $3000!!! yes, $3000! see, the part-time job i work doesnt withhold taxes so that means i have to pay them NOW and hence the $3000 tax bill. i wasnt thinking at the time that i would need to put money away to pay for the taxes...then again, when do i actually think when it comes to money?! so now i either have to sell a kidney or i have to get a cash advance from, guess where, my credit card to pay the taxman before he puts a lien against my stuff or garnishes my wages. i could also just give The Man the finger and end up with leona helmsley and martha stewart in federal prison, but i figure that wouldnt look good on my fbi application! sure, i can apply for an extension but its a pain in the ass and i end up paying an assload in interest and penalties. so where i was getting close to paying off my credit card i am now pushed back another several (several!) months before i am debt free (i dont count my law school loans in the whole equation or else i would shoot myself now!).

i mean, ive learned my lesson here...dont use credit cards...do i have to keep getting reamed in the ass over this or what?! i work my ass off with two jobs to pay my debt which only causes me to have more debt! isnt that totally fucked up and totally the susan way?! the sad thing is that i have even looked online before to find a place to sell my eggs for money...yes, get pumped full with crazy injections of evil cancer causing medicines (see a recent edition of O magazine for the full article about this!) just to have my little susan jr eggs sucked out to help selfish infertile rich people procreate...FOR MONEY TO PAY MY BILLS!!! that is crazy!!! even calgon couldnt take me away far enough from this bullshit!

im just over trying so hard only to get shoved down again and again. i have gone without so much over the years just to take care of my irresponsibility and im tired of it. i have gone for years without a car with air OR heat because its more responsible for me to wait to buy a car and to take care of other things first. when does it end? i got it, ok? ive changed my ways, ok? im not buying mercedes benzes or hermes bags or manolo blahnik shoes here for fuck's sake! i drive a shitmobile (literally) and work more hours than anybody should have to at bullshit just to be solvent and still im not there yet. ive never been a patient person EVER and im having a tough time with this. i was planning on finally being able to save up and buy a new car by year's end (a mini cooper with a union jack flag on the roof!!!- screw the responsible toyota purchase!), but alas i have to wait AGAIN and for how long, who knows?!

it seems like my whole life has been one long unwinable battle! it seems like i just cannot get ahead with anything no matter how hard i try be it finances, personal relationships, my career, or all my physcial and emotional flaws. its like im on a treadmill of self-improvement that never ends, it just keeps going and going and going. does it ever end? does the bullshit storm ever pass? sometimes i feel like just not trying at all. why dont i just be happy with my job as it is instead of busting my ass in the gym and changing my eating habits in order to pursue a potentially unachievable goal of being an fbi agent? why dont i just pay the minimum balance on my credit card FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE and just stop worrying about it? why dont i just go into more debt to buy a phat new car so i dont have to drive in gridlock with all the windows rolled down in bullshit 100 degree atlanta summer weather for another year? why do i have to give a shit?! why cant i just be satisfied with the average american walmart life of eternal debt and job dissatisfaction?

where did my mojo go bad? and more importantly, how can i change it so im not always fucked up the ass?!

You moved my post?!? What are you, some sort of sorceress? I got down on my hands and knees before Susan to be granted content change--now I have to worship you as well? Okay, fine :)

Work is overrated. Besides, you're at 80-85% efficiency, I'm at [mumbles small incoherent single digit number]%. Looks like I'm the one that should put more into it. Oddly enough, that was one of my New Year's Resolutions.

Man, that metaphor was WAY too slow. I lost interest about three seconds into it--you women need to stay out of the left lane :) (point well taken, though)

Great. More bad press for us poor gamers. I don't want to pry if you don't want to talk about it, but I assume you gave him the benefit of the doubt on the social end, only to see him fall into the typical gamer profile? Here's a good way to get women to not listen to you anymore: You: "Yeah, I like to play a lot of video games... I have all three game consoles out now and a bigscreen TV..." (Who would date a guy like that?) ;)

Okay, I just moved your post so that things make more sense. You and I both need to focus more on work, don't we?

I like the "licensing" idea. Hmmm...

Men don't take SUBTLE hints. Susan, is the speed limit metaphor in the archives? I don't think it is -- I think that was a phone conversation. Correct me if I misspeak, but here's the basic gist of the metaphor we came up with which (sort of) worked to describe to a guy how to proceed (and yes, I've embellished):
Men are like fast sports cars (good, since men generally like fast cars and it's soothing to their egos...). They tend to go from zero to sixty very quickly. Women are a little more like tourists in the minivan. Even if they wanted to, they don't pick up speed quite that fast. In fact, they frequently prefer (as tourists) to take the slower back roads -- sightseeing, if you will. If we meet a nice sports car we like, we can sometimes spend some time peering into each others' windows, but eventually, if you're going 60 and I'm still working up to 45, you've lost me. I realize that sometimes the scenic route isn't your first choice, but eventually, I'll get up to 60 and we can both speed up to 80 or 90 and the trip will be good.

As I said before, there is something to be said for manual dexterity, but also points against someone who isn't very good at being social away from his X-Box.

Good grief, 99% of women must have Honda Civics. Reminds of the old 80s movies, where the girl love interest always drove a Cabriolet or equivalent.

On the work ethic I have to admit, I spend a rather low percentage of my time at work actually working (obviously, how else would I able to post entire novels on this site during the day)... but the nature of my job is mostly to wait for something to go wrong, so it does allow for that.

As far as mind reading during sex, it goes both ways, too... if I had to guess, I would venture that most men in general would welcome any question from their partner as to what could be done to make them feel better. I think that any man that A) would make a woman try to read his mind in that regard and/or B) would NOT listen to suggestions made by his partner in favor of his own ego should have his license to have sex revoked for at least two years. I dunno--always kinda bothers me to hear the old "men don't take hints well"--not that it ain't true, I'm living proof--just seems kinda one-sided. Men give out hints all the time that aren't picked up by women.

Kate, you dated a gamer? Was it as bad as everyone makes it out to be?

Hmmm--guess what happens when you leave the "Create New Post" window open for long periods of time without actually submitting anything? You create posts in the past, which is why my latest is after Kate's, even though it is a response...

First, though I love Gertie (my ‘92 Honda Civic, also known as “the sorority girl car”), the biggest benefit of a no-frills, base model car is that there isn’t as much to break. She ain’t pretty. I’m with Susan’s decision on the Pussy Wagon – as soon as you spend money on paint, the insides are going to liquify and destory that investment. I think the window is fixed now. No promises, though. Grrr.

Work ethic is a sticking point. When I'm at work, at least 80% of my time (90%, most days) is dedicated to -- guess what? -- WORKING. I hate working with people who are just there to pass the time. I spend 40 hours a week here, and I may as well make it worth my while. That doesn't mean I don't occasionally goof off, but those breaks should make me a more productive worker.

Um, speaking as the former girlfriend of a gamer, manual dexterity can be a great thing. I think as far as sex is concerned, the two best things a guy (or girl) can have are an open mind and the ability to communicate. I always think of the scene in Chasing Amy where Banky explains to Alyssa why he just doesn't go down on girls anymore: he needs a road map and some directions, and she generally just lies there quiet. As Susan has attested, there are HUGE dividends paid out to those who know how to, through noise, body movement or words, tell their lovers when things are going well and where to go next. Having sex with a mime hasn't even made to fetish status for a reason.

I guess the way I've figured it (and I admit that it was a realization that took some time coming -- pun unintentional but welcomed), if I don't tell my lover what it is that I want/need him to do, and I don't get it (or get off), it's pretty much my fault. If I tell him or guide him and he resists instruction, whether from misplaced ego ("I amCasanova!") or from lack of ability or because of some other, impossible to understand guy reason, THEN we have a problem. But men don't read minds and they also don't generally respond to subtle hints. Just tell 'em what you gotta tell 'em.

Neither one of you did actually say bigger is better--I meant the general cliche. But I did get another free sex lesson from Susan, who I'm beginning to believe may have missed her true calling in life. I typically get stuck with the ones that firmly believe the guy needs to guess what needs to be done or they can't tell you what feels good to them. Let's just say I wish I knew more women who were willing to communicate about stuff like that. Susan, I can't vouch for the other guy gamers out there, but I think there are a couple of girls who have made my acquaintance out there who may have changed their view on the benefits of manual dexterity improved through gaming, and leave it at that :)

Kate, my driver's side window is stuck... it's been on the fritz for years, now I have to get it fixed, this is my 2000 Monte Carlo--another marvel of American engineering. Actually, I won't knock it. Other than the window, I really haven't had any real problems with it. Great experience for the first new car I hope to have owned start to finish. But when you mentioned the no pride in their jobs, it reminded me of my two trips to Japan to visit Bill (remember him? married with child now). I had the best McDonalds of my life over there. Everything was perfect. EVERY TIME. Try getting that over there. Those people have a work ethic and pride in their job (no matter what it is, even street sweeper), that most of us can barely comprehend. It would be nice to see some of that over here.

For the record, Luigi has about a 40 ft vertical (from Super Mario Bros 2). I'm not sure why he never made it into the NBA. I think he may still be playing for the Mushroom Kingdom Olympic team. As for me, I'm getting in touch with my inner ninja. The only thing better than HD channels on my TV are the games.

The only reason I read Maxim and Stuff is because my married friends have subscriptions and keep throwing the issues at me. Well, it's not the ONLY reason. The articles are informative too :) For some reason, I keep getting issues of Complex, a hip hop magazine, even though I never subscribed. But I'm not complaining--it's pretty decent.

Only TWO days left until SPRING BREAK!!! Sure, I'm 29 and five years removed from college... but it's never too late to go to Miami for Spring Break for the first time...

i think i fixed the font size issue we had for a while...dont know why it changed all of the sudden. i also added a few extra things while i was at it. any suggestions for added content are accepted!

as for mario and luigi...dont knock the little italian guys, they are exemplars of the american dream and of the fight against all injustice in the world. they immigrate from italy and work hard as plumbers, earning a living, and end up getting embroiled in the fight against injustice. they stomp bad guys and are trying to make their way in a hostile world for "outsiders" and, in the end, after much tribulation, they win the girl and the castle...they are heros! we should all aspire to be like mario and luigi and fight the man (see the pic at right! lol!) who only wants to keep us hardworking americans down! unite and fight for freedom and equality!!!

as for size, it aint the size its how you use it...unless its the size of a vienna sausage...really, there is too big and too small... men need to understand that when it comes to penis usage very few women get off just by penis action alone. men need to learn how to multitask in the bedroom and need to understand playing the zones (breasts, clit, other nice women areas) while giving good penis action. i gotta give props to andy, another techie, he knew how to multitask. you gotta applaud a guy who could give good penis action AND work the zones all AT THE SAME TIME while coming FROM BEHIND and being several inches TALLER than me! that is skill indeed my friends, yes sir. best sex i had was standing up in a dark nasty tech dorm room bathroom...head bangingly great sex! one can hope that all that manipulation of the game controllers has helped you guys' manual dexterity!

and mark, you really should change your magazine reading to gq, esquire, vanity fair, and rolling stone...theyre much more intelligent! yes, i read boys magazines...

My problem with the Brothers is that short, fat, Italian dudes don't jump well. Or at least I couldn't make them. They kept falling down holes. And then I died, and had to start over.

When did either of us say bigger is better? It ain’t what you got, it’s how you use it. In this case, what you show on it. If you’re only using the big screen to make the Italian brothers bigger, it isn’t necessarily doing you much good. And for the record, why would you want Trading Spaces in high definition? How about some hot men in high def?? Guess you wouldn’t want to promise that to your SO.

(Oh, and bigger isn’t better only when we’re talking within normal ranges. Edo period Japanese ukiyo-e print big isn’t good. But neither is Vienna sausage.)

I have to go pick up my car. Again. Window got shot out, I got it fixed. Drove it on the highway: window freaking pops out again. Fucking car. Damn incompetant American workers with no pride in their jobs.

Oh and another thing (soon you will be sorry you ever let me in the door)--leave Mario and Luigi alone, Kate. There's so much more to them than just jumping on top of and smashing koopas with a hammer... like... uh... ...uh... okay, never mind... maybe that is all they have to offer, but it's been enough for me to play all 13,469 games they've been featured in.

Daniel, the women may have a point. Bigger is truly better. Once you've gone 60" widescreen HDTV, you never go back. All I can say is get one of your own or convince one of your friends to get one. I'm the most popular guy on the block now--been thinking of charging admission to my house. If you're trying to convince the S.O. to approve the purchase, tell them about the possibility of Trading Spaces or Sex in the City in High Def... that ought to do it.

Susan, I'm with Daniel--you'll never know until you ask... problem is, he's your trainer, so if it does get awkward, you'll either have to deal with it, or get someone else to pump (clap, then point) YOU up. As far as Mike goes, quit hexing him--and put the voodoo dolls down :) Oh, and let me know when the book comes out. You can add the following to the jacket from me:

"I laughed. I cried. I wet myself." -- Mark Pinkston, local boob

Daniel, if the donation for the new CoC is a recent event, no I don't think I did. But I thought I remembered hearing something similar awhile back... I wish I had taken more advantage of that building (or hell, the entire CS experience) while I was there. Shoulda, coulda, woulda--oh well. Maybe there's still hope for me in the Hall of Underachievers.

I'm looking forward to this whole "myth of manhood" thing. I'm not sure exactly what it is you guys want to discuss, so I'll wait to see what develops. All I can tell you so far is that societal myths and constructs are merely guidelines... it is up to the individual to determine how much they will allow their own opinions to be swayed by them. Sure, I can picture myself with the 50s version of the American Dream--wife gives me a kiss on my way to work while she gets the 2.5 kids ready for school, and it's a nice fantasy. But I don't let that keep me from considering a career-minded woman if/when I want to get married. I can't vouch for all the other guys, but I would hope that most of us would know when to realize that all the "myths of manhood" are just a suggestion of a way of life instead of a hard and fast rule to be lived by. But who knows? Kate gets her supporting material from scholarly books--most of what I learned I get from Maxim and Stuff :)

I think the introduction of a few more people has definitely revived the blog. Mark and Daniel, keep in mind that Susan and I went to a women's college, where there were no boys to impress and no reason to play at or pretend innocence in any matter -- sexual or intellectual. I think that the majority of us have found that the world-at-large is a little shocked by how blunt we can be, but at the same time, it is useful in weeding out the closed-minded. I'm not interested in that group of people as companions in my life's journey.

Gee, I didn't know we shocked people, though. Hmmm. I kind of like it.

I remember cat, barf, and bug. I think I still remember all the signs, too. Cool. College may have been the salad days, but I have to say I've taken much of that with me. I think we need a road trip, though.

Daniel, I've often noticed that about people on TV. I find it fascinating. I keep trying to break the addiction, but so far, I can't. Living with Susan for two years didn't help. I remember attempting to put together the loft bed at the beginning of junior year, and Susan looking at the clock and frantically hooking up the TV so as not to miss an episode of Highlander. That show got better every time Petey showed up and whenever the dumbass blond kid wasn't on. Why do we waste our time, minds, and energy on the idiot box? Oh, and Zelda I had played and beat years before high school. I just had issues with the Mario Brothers.

Bring on the myth of manhood discussion. I've been reading two things lately: feminist musing (recent, 1990s on) and "historic" sex guides (1980s back). Many things to say on both subjects. The best thing I've read recently are some discussions in Naomi Wolf's books about how the dominant patriarchal paradigm in our culture today really screws everyone: it constrains everyone, men, women, and children, to predefined roles and, despite our cries of "individuality!" does not allow true expressions of how we would like our lives to be.

Wow, you kids are talkative these days. I'm trying to unplug and disconnect to some degree. Too much time lost to TV and computers. The common thing I notice about all the people I watch on TV is that they NEVER watch TV, I'm trying to learn from that. lol.

Birthdays...The only birthdays I remember aside from my own are my mom's and the children of my family and friends. My PDA is working to change all this, but I personally refuse to devote any more brainpower to remembering dates that most people would rather I not. Kids universally LOVE their birthday, there's a party and gifts and games - it's a celebration...until 21, there are milestones in our lives to achieve, freedoms to be attained. Post 21, it's all a gray area. Most people don't care for you to remember their birthday, but that all seems to change if there's a romantic link, doesn't it? Then we seem to be overly concerned with the other person remembering as a sign of how important we are to the other person. We'll even tell people how unimportant the day is to us and still sit around and hope they go out of their way to acknowledge it.

Course, Mike is this whole other gray area, because there would appear to be a one way romantic link and so all the drama is one sided. If you were both guys, this wouldn't even be a discussion...and maybe he's trying to play off your romantic interest in him by intentionally forgetting your birthday, i.e. treating you more like one of the guys? So should you give him the birthday gift. If it was me, I wouldn't, I'd sell it back on ebay and buy myself something...I'd consider giving the guy a card. Both will make him feel a sting of guilt at the time of receipt, but the radio will eventually bring him more pleasure than guilt.

As for MS trainer guy, isn't life too short to spend debating the choices carefully? Tis better to have loved and lost, than never.....right?

3 Game consoles, wow. I just have two computer games I play, America's Army and Planetside. AAO is free, and I think better than Planetside, which is far greater in scale. Up until about a year ago, I hadn't ever gotten into a computer game, but online gaming where you interact with other people as opposed to Super Mario Bros. (which I never liked, Zelda, thank you very much) where you are just trying to get into the rhythm of the game, seems to have an allure that's pretty strong for me. But hey, I just started and I'm already trying to quit, so...I need more time spent working on the house, exercise AND profit motive! The largest TV screen in the house is 32", but don't think I my ears didn't perk up at the mention of a 60" TV (Tim Allen strange noises inserted here).

Mark, you may have seen me around campus, I'm BSME from Spring of 98. But you were probably spending all your time in the CoC while I was over at MRDC (gotta love the snot green paint, it was supposed to be GOLD, whoops). Have you heard about the ISS guy giving Tech 14M to build the next CoC?

Oh, and yeah, I'd have to agree with you about being a little embarassed on occassion by the frankness - specifically sexually - of the girls, but I find it very informative at times.

And Kate, at some point in the future, we'll have to dialogue about "the myth of manhood." This is something I'm confronting personally right now, but I don't have my thoughts organized just yet. I'll work on it some during the upcoming week. I gotta date with some boxes in the basement, so...

about the birthday comment...yes, i am queen hypocrite usually, but i do have to say that its different when a person you care for forgets a milestone in your life. as for mike, he and his rookie got t-boned this morning by a dumb asian woman driver. theyre ok, but mike's patrolcar is toast! lol!

but for just a little dionne warwick interlude: "What do you get when you fall in love?/ A guy with a pin to burst your bubble/ Thats what you get for your trouble/ I'll never fall in love again/ Oh ill never fall in love again..." sing it sistah dionne, sing it baby! you know it, girlfriend! lol!

as for rooty tooty, i remember that. i think i also did that goofy sign language thing where i knew like three words- cat, barf, and bug- and kept putting them together to make dumb sentences. ah, nothing like college...those were the salad days.

well, i have to say that if i ever do get around to writing my novel that i want mark to write one of the jacket blurbs saying how fabulous my book was! lol! wow, i didnt think the blog was that evocative, but im glad youve enjoyed it. and yes, nothings off limits...with me at least...but we always knew that didnt we! lol!

and mark, melodramatic is accepted and sometimes encouraged here. heil morrissey! heil morrissey! the king of the melodramatic arts!

finally, an odd thing happened. i went to my appointment with jeff, the metrosexual trainer, and he told me about this odd email he got. he buys shit on ebay all the time and he got an email from somebody trying to undercut the ebay price...total scam, of course. well, we couldve just talked about it (which we actually did), but he also asked me for my email so he could forward the email to me. ok, is it just me being paranoid or is that a little wierd? why do i need to see the email? is this just a clever susan-like ruse by jeff to get my email address and perhaps like email me or something?! lol! id love to hear thoughts about this situation. me and jeff get along well and have a similar sense of humor and outlook on life. frankly i think we should date, but ive never gotten around to testing those waters because i like him as my trainer too. see, im showing restraint, kt! lol! gold star for me! lol! another thing, he keeps bringing up hashing as well and keeps asking me when im gonna go and do it. does he want me to ask him to go? should i maybe throw that out there next time he mentions it? if nothing else it would be cool as friends to do that. it would be like training! lol! i wouldnt pay him for it though! and i wouldnt mind having him as an out of gym friend...that would be cool. its just sometimes transitions from one type of relationship to another are awkward and i still wonder if theres some gym trainer code of ethics saying thats not cool to do. im just paranoid. oh, and another thing, he periodically asks me about my writing...as if i have any writing other than this! hey, its a start! anyways, he mentioned the other day that he wanted me to bring him some of my writing for him to read. dude, is this a clue or my overactive imagination? it sounds like he would like an outside of gym relationship of some type. and frankly, its nice to know someone who remembers things i tell them and takes an interest in my life and "hobbies." ive played with the thought of telling him about this blog and i think it actually came up but i sorta just downplayed it. considering the amount of chatter about him and his sexiness and "metrosexuality" i can only imagine how red he would turn if he read the posts! lol! anyways, oh wise trifecta, advise me please! lol!

I had to change my earlier posts around several times to try to find the right words for what I wanted to say, but basically:

- reading through the archives gave me a rush of memories involving you and Susan, I was reliving the whole experience all over again... remembering the night you and I met, remembering the awkward point where your friends and my friends met and Susan got pissed at me because I almost left with deciding to stay and hang out with you two, remembering me holding the door open for you at IHOP and you tossing me through it instead, I don't even remember the fellatio demo (which is odd for me), but NO ONE will EVER forget Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity (and I always get apple--I hate strawberries)

- As I'm going back through all those events in mind, I was reading what pretty much amounted to you two baring your souls to degrees I'm just not used to with the people I am currently around... I felt like I was there with you, and part of me was happy or sad for you as I read what happened, so much has happened since those days way back, and I felt a little sad about not having been there, don't ask me why... so as I'm going through the archives, I'm just coming across honesty from women (especially with regard to sex) that I'm just not used to, hence the blushing... I'm just getting acclimated to the environment... determining the limits of discussion, and it doesn't look like there are any... so I'll issue a disclaimer now for anything I may type later... I feel like I should have attained honorary brother (no, not brutha, brother) status with you two for just having read something so intimate... perhaps I'm being melodramatic, but I can be like that :)

- the actual purpose of bringing that quote from She Who Shall Remain Nameless was to point out a contrast in that sentiment and the issue she has with her current boy toy not recognizing her birthday... he's still stupid for not being aware of it, though.

- Dan, do I know you? I also was(am) a Ramblin' Wreck. CS '98.

Mark -- remember one evening: Rooti Tutti Fresh and Fruity. I think you matched the strawberries that night. Wasn't that the night that was passed around an empty beer bottle at the club (the now, sadly defunct The Point) to demonstrate fellatio techniques? My, how quickly we forget. Or maybe it was blocking traumatic memories?? I have to know what made you blush so.

I hate my birthday. But I think I would also hate it if no one remembered. Not everyone has to remember, but there are certain friends who do, and generally your SO should, too. I just don't like to make a big deal out of it. Say "Happy Birthday" and move on.

Leave it to me to get posts out of order, but I forgot to submit after previewing, so without any further ado, the post that should go before the one that is after this...

Found this in the archives:

happy b-day to kt! although it doesnt seem as if she is interested in the celebration part. i do have to admit though that i dont understand the allure of celebrating the day of one's birth. afterall, how friggin' important was it really in the grand scheme of things?!

Anyone want to fess up to having typed that? ;)

Susan, cheers to you for such fiery emotion. Passion is indeed somewhat of a lost art these days it seems. Back to the archives for me...

almost caught up... I'll have you two know I've probably blushed three shades of red darker than I ever have before while reading through the archives--and I'm BLACK!

I spent half an hour at a video arcade about a year ago.... but I didn't enjoy it (I didn't inhale....). I think I could handle a week on the couch with the TV, but I just suck at video games. The last time I did some major playing, I was a senior in high school and attempting to beat the original Super Mario Brothers game. I don't think I ever did. I had a problem with level 1.2 -- if I could get past that, I was okay until level 9 or something, but I hated 1.2. Sad. But at least I can't say I have a "gaming life." There have to be props for that.

Vultures. Hmmm. Besides the cartoon aspect, I can see that maybe they would make you feel comfortable biking around.

Music, when written by a good musician and excellent lyricist, can speak to the soul in a way that "just" words cannot.

I am so happy that it is Friday. Yawn.

Found this in the archives:

happy b-day to kt! although it doesnt seem as if she is interested in the celebration part. i do have to admit though that i dont understand the allure of celebrating the day of one's birth. afterall, how friggin' important was it really in the grand scheme of things?!

Anyone want to fess up to having typed that? ;)

Susan, cheers to you for such fiery emotion. Passion is indeed somewhat of a lost art these days it seems. Back to the archives for me...

as for sarah mclachlan...see, you always have a way of getting me to REALIZE what i need to. youre totally right...

Ah, I see. Yeah, I haven't exactly gone back through the archives, but I guess if I'm gonna comment of stuff you guys are talking about a little background would definitely help. So forget all that crap I just said :) Just kidding--I still feel that way in general. When I get a chance, I'll flip back through the archives, and then I'll be better prepared to respond. In the meantime, you are in the most exciting and dangerous of situations when it comes to these things, the old liking a co-worker... but yeah, seeing as how you guys aren't dating, that's pretty normal for him to have had no idea when your birthday was. I'm not saying it's fair, but that's the way it goes. I couldn't tell you any of my female friends' birthdays. My man logic says I don't wish for them to remember mine so hopefully they'll excuse the fact that I don't place a high priority on remembering theirs. However, since I go to the trouble to carry a PDA around, I've made a habit of recording people's birthdays as they are revealed to me. So I'm trying to get better about that. As far as whether you should give him the gift or not, I'm with Kate... go with how you feel. And if it's true that you can't stay mad at him for long, you might as well give it to him.

Kate, I'll make you a deal. I'll spend a week in the great outdoors with you... you spend a week on the couch watching TV and playing games with me :) I've been outside lately--there's a nice little bike trail just a mile or two away from my house with trees and grass and birdies and deer and the occasional wild boar (OH and vultures, lots of vultures--makes me wonder if I've moved into a Roadrunner cartoon). Believe it or not, I love being out there. It's very peaceful, and allows me time to reflect on what's currently going on in my life. When's the last time you played a video game?

I don't think down on his knees is necessary (although who doesn't love a man on his knees??). I think that since he forgot something that is obviously important to you, he should be sincerely apologetic about it, whether he "gets it" or not. And yes, if he's paying attention, he would be able to tell that it was important to you. Your heart is blazing out on your sleeve 98.6% of the time and you know it. NOT being rude or mean isn't the same as being nice about it.

Think about the birthday gift. If it feels right, give it. If not, don't. Oh, and please go listen to track #3 off Afterglow (Sarah McLachlan's latest).

Mark, I love you, but you have to get out more. Three game consoles is pretty damn scary. Come visit me -- I'll introduce you to bison, elk, and prairie dogs (although I cannot promise the elk -- they come and go).

well mark, my "relationship" with mike is of the ilk you mentioned in your post- a friend who likes a friend as more than a friend. if you browse the archives you will find numerous posts explaining in depth about particular examples in me and mikes "relationship" and whether or not those actions and words meant he liked me back. i think the famous "i think i gave you the wrong impression" comment from mike probably speaks for itself, but because we have never actually discussed our situation the whole issue may still be up in the air. im meaning to talk to him about the whole thing, but i just havent had a good time to do it...maybe never is the best time, who knows?! so now i wonder if your take on things has changed with this new info. me and mike are NOT dating (not that i dont want to of course). oh, and me and mike work together...that may be an important piece of info. so with the knowledge that i like him but he probably doesnt like me back "like that" should i still give him the expensive fancy gift for his birthday? is that appropriate at all?! and a new thought, perhaps mike didnt get me a gift or hasnt gotten me one now that he knows i had a birthday because he doesnt want to be in some way inappropriate or to seemingly encourage me to pursue him or something...who knows.

all i know is that i can be pissed at him, but once i see him and talk to him it all goes away...and i HATE that! dammit! i wanna hate him so much and i dont wanna go gooey around him and i thought this whole deal was supposed to wear off or something, but it hasnt and that pisses me off. any suggestions? well, other than labotomy...

and kt, i just spoke with mike a few ago and while he wasnt down on his knees apologetic, he wasnt mean or rude or anything like that. he truly did not remember and, being a guy, he doesnt understand how forgetting was wrong. its not that he doesnt care, he just doesnt "get it." not that this should be a surprise as mike doesnt get much does he?! because if he did we would be dating and banging each other by now! lol! stoopid stoopid boys! when will they ever learn?!

Well, I'll just jump right on in... I've got quite a bit to say on this, but I may not get all of it down--I'm still at work...

Susan, I don't know the details of your current relationship with Mike, but I will tell you that I believe not going out with my girlfriend in college on her birthday (but I didn't forget, at least) was one of the things she held against me for the duration of our relationship. So I think you can definitely reserve the right to be pissed about it. ESPECIALLY if he made no attempt to even seem apologetic until you just about forced the issue. You mentioned personal value quotient (hereafter referred to as PVQ)... it seems to me that guys in general tend not to place as much emphasis on remembering birthdays as girls do. However, your SO should respect you enough to make it a point... if not, then it seems like his perception of your PVQ to him is certainly not as high as yours is of him to you. It didn't take me long to learn that forgetting or making light your girlfriend's birthday is about the worst thing you could possibly do, so I'm surprised he wasn't aware of that.

Now on the flip side, if you choose to change your mind about treating his birthday the same or not giving him a present, then you're just sinking to his level. Be the better (wo)man in this case. Don't change your ways, because you wouldn't want to treat someone else like that. I'm not saying reward bad behavior, just don't change your normal MO. Someone will be deserving of you the way you are, whether it's him or someone else.

The whole can men/women be friends... I don't have nearly enough time to get into this... but the short version IMHO reads like this: It stands to reason that at least one will be attracted to the other, friends or not. Most of the time, the person who has "more than friends" type feelings will keep them to themself to prevent risking losing a friendship in case the other does not feel the same way. If for whatever reason, the attraction is acted on, the two people will likely never see each other the same even if they remain friends. Bottom line, I think people tend to ignore their feelings sometimes in favor of remaining friends--and I don't think that's a bad thing in some cases--many of my female friends I still harbor "more than friends" type feelings for to some extent, but in several cases I value their friendship more than taking a chance on what might happen. Too much primal stuff going on for men, I think. Women are a confusing, yet alluring breed. Couldn't love 'em more :)

Now, Kate, on the maintenance thing with regard to our lives, I'm still waiting for them to perfect cloning. I mean, sign me up! There is entirely too much life to live and entirely too little time to do it in. Unfortunately, it's simply too easy to be lazy about most aspects of your life in terms of maintenance. When I think about everything I'd like to work on, it's simply overwhelming. So instead, I do nothing. Doesn't make much sense, but it is what it is.

You guys are making me think too hard. Good thing wrestling is on tonight. Oh, BTW, just try to pry that game controller from my cold, dead fingers. You'll find it more difficult than it looks :) In the absence of intellectual stimulation, I've purchased a 60" widescreen TV and I now own all three current generation game consoles. I have more video games in my house right now than I could possibly play over three lifetimes even if that was all I did. Sad thing is, video games only represent a small percentage of the things I want to experience in life. My work life, my social life, my athletic life, and my gaming life are all screaming for attention, and I'm still trying to figure out how to balance them all. Man, don't even get me started.

I'd be angry. Guys use the myth of manhood to hide behind. I don't think that there is any genetic or biological reason that men cannot remember "important" dates. They know when major sports events take place, don't they? (Okay, yeah, using the stereotype when attempting to debunk it is like using a word in its own definition: wrong!). Part of it is cultural. Personal relationships are supposed to be less important to a man than his work and outside interests. Relationships are not supposed to "define" a man's personhood. In contrast, women are told that we should define ourselves in terms of our relationships. This doesn't work out well for anyone, really. We both get screwed.

Back on topic: I don't know if you should give him the present or not. That's an "in the moment/in the situation" judgment call, in my opinion. The value of the gift isn't necessarily the deciding factor, nor is the reciprocity of gift-giving. It's the fact that you are acknowledging his important personal holiday, and he didn't bother to acknowledge yours. If he had been late, or got the date wrong, but still said something or gave you a card (even just saying "Happy Birthday!" counts for something) OR apologized (sincerely) for forgetting, I'd say get over it and move on. But since he doesn't seem to care, I'd be wary. But hey, that's just my "trust no one until he or she proves to be trustworthy" mode kicking in.

I'd like the hear the guys on this one.

ok, i want your opinions. should i be as mad as i am that mike forgot my birthday? shit, i remembered his and ive even bought a way too expensive gift for him (which i am thinking of just not giving him). its one thing if the other guys at work dont remember my birthday because they just dont know when it is and we arent THAT close...but me and mike have discussed birthdays and he certainly was given knowledge of when mine was. isnt that like a buddy obligation...to remember birthdays? and no, i do not want to hear that 'well hes a guy' bullshit excuse because thats all it is, an excuse. he couldnt even remember it for the month he knew about it! and when i messaged him at work today he didnt even know he had forgotten! when i told him he'd forgotten something he couldnt figure out what it was he'd forgotten. and do you know, once i told him he'd forgotten my birthday, he never, not even ONCE said 'im sorry'...at least in what seemed like a sincere manner to me. he pulled this whole "im on my knees begging your forgiveness" bullshit he pulls when i get mad at him. although, to be honest, i dont know if he even knows im mad at him. but really, shouldnt i be upset he forgot my birthday? he means more to me than my family (so when they forgot i didnt really mind cause thats just them!).

and a second related question for the jury to ponder...should i go ahead and give him his gift anyways? he mentioned a harley davidson cb radio he wanted (he collects harley shit...hes a bike guy, what can i say) and so i went and found it for him on ebay. and its not that i have to necessarily get something before i give something, but here i wonder if we have a vast difference in our personal value quotient working here. by personal value quotient i mean the value we put on certain people in our lives. par exemplar- kt has a high personal value quotient, she is my best friend...my family has a low personal value quotient because they are crazy fuckers. mike, to me, has a high middle personal value quotient because we're peas in a pod and spend an assload of time together (usually) at work and share similar interests. we have also discussed highly personal/sensitive topics about ourselves with each other. i am the only one (as far as i know) with whom he has discussed his crazy stalker chick issue (when i asked him if there was anyone else he could trust to ask about how to resolve the problem, he said, "no"). so to me, mike has a high middle personal value quotient, but perhaps my personal value quotient with mike is not very high (or as high as i think it should be). because isnt it true that the criticalness (is that a word?! shit!) of remembering a birthday rises as personal value quotient rises? par exemplar- it is highly critical that i remember kts birthday and act accordingly because her personal value quotient is high whereas i can completely blow off my sister's birthday because shes crazy and a loser and her personal value quotient is very low. am i crazy to think these things? therefore, in the situation at hand, does the fact that mike forgot my birthday mean therefore that my personal value quotient is low? and thus, if that is in fact the case, should i refrain from giving him a gift that reveals to him how high his personal value quotient is with me? and bottomline, should i give a gift if i did not receive one, not even a fucking card, in a situation like this?

the biggest things i learned here were: 1) to never buy something you cant return AND 2) to not be close friends with and/or fall for guys because they will always disappoint you (a tad melodramatic, i know, thanks moz- "last night i dreamt that somebody loved me/ no hope, no harm, just another false alarm..."). this second lesson spawns yet another critical question- can men and women ever really be close/best friends without blood/tears shed or are the genetic/sociological differences just too great? i havent formulated an opinion on this last one yet...

i just need to end up stranded on a deserted island with a volleyball as my companion and eating fucking king crabs and sushi all day long...then i wouldnt have such issues to deal with! lol!

Yeah, for the record, Mark, we don't have guests. You're family now, with the same chores and benefits as everyone else. Now we're even a good, balanced family: boys vs. girls. Even if you do still play video games occasionally....

Daniel, if you send me your address off-list, I will send you painting information. I've loads. Most of it, unfortunately for you, applies to wood siding, not weird manufactured materials. You can also check out the list of Preservation Briefs published by the National Park Service. Several deal with paint issues. In most cases, NPS does not look favorably on new materials. The ones developed in the post-WWII boom have not proved to stand the test of time as well as the older, traditional building materials. Newer ones haven't had a chance to age yet (except vinyl, which we've discussed.)

I think the problem is this: Life is not maintenance free. We must maintain ourselves (see blog discussion on the Gym). We must maintain our relationships (see blog discussions innumerable). Etc, etc. By expecting our environments, built and natural, to be maintenance free, despite what we put them through, is ridiculous. And why shouldn't we invest some time and effort (or just money, if we have it) into the areas in which we live, work, and play??

Instead, we destroy things around us, sometimes for fun. Personal example: I'm off to pick up my car at the auto glass shop. Some jackass with nothing better to do (teenage boy, from the one eyewitness) went on a BB gun shooting spree and smashed 5 car windows and two business windows, including the window on my driver's side door. He apparently also shot at some woman taking a smoke break outside the Baptist nursing home down the street. He must not be too bright: for one thing, he started his little spree at 9:30 pm on a Saturday night. Dumbass. Go read a freaking book.

P.S. The blog spell check does not recognize the words "dumbass" and "blog." Hmmm.

Hello everybody! Please, don't get up for my benefit... I'll just have a seat right here and listen in... I've been poking around a bit, you guys use some mighty big words... stuff I haven't seen since the SAT, which for me was quite some time ago. Anyway, I'm Mark for those of you who don't know me, and I was invited to come join the party here by Kate, who must remember my more intelligent days, which are mostly behind me now. So please... carry on... glad to be on the show...

Hmm. Okay...well, any literature about proper paint prepping, etc.? I'm about to persue having my house painted...the first application appears to have lasted 7 years. It's now chalky and splotchy on the back side. The house is hardiplank (sp?) on 3 sides. I'd personally rather have brick...screw debating disposable materials. Barring natural disaster, brick really IS no maintainance and aesthetically pleasing. I love a nice mix of solid red brick and deep honey wood tones. Maybe I'm thinking about brick oven pizzas in my dieting state, however. But stucco isn't bad (non-synthetic). Masonry...hooah!

I find it discomforting to think that society has made little progress towards producing materials which better stand the test of time. Why can't I have a maintainence free siding that requires no paint and lasts longer than I do plus my kids. Same thing for windows. Surely there are some modern materials that the Department of the Interior looks favorably upon?

Obviously, people involved with preserving historic structures want to do just that, preserve...but if knocking down an older building saves an acre or three of wildlife, I vote for the demo crew. There seems to be a big market for used building materials, anyway...people seem to get a real kick of out saying part of their house came from this structure in so-and-so....etc.

Cell towers do represent a wonderful fulcrum upon which those concerned with substance clash against those concerned purely with progress. They're horribly ugly buggers, but quite wonderful at the same time. I wouldn't want one right outside my window, but I wouldn't want to be without cell phone service, either.

Susan, I hope you're feeling better. At least you don't appear to have any denial issues. Lifestyle changes are shitty to go through, at least they appear that way from the inside as I attempt to make one. I personally struggle with not being motivated enough in my free time to persue outside professional interests. Layman's : I spend too much time entertaining myself and not enough time busting my ass and trying to get ahead in the world. So I can identify, I believe, with your current feelings. But I don't think taking a week off to mope is such a good idea. Maybe you should've taken a bit of a road trip instead (go fight cell towers with kt!!! - was that El Sid?). Do something to relieve a little pressure and get away from your life. Anything to spend a minute outside yourself and try to reflect upon whether or not it's as bad as you think it is...I bet it's not.

Speaking of lifestyle changes...it's 8:30 and I think I'm going to go brush my teeth and grab a book. Someday, when I'm all toned and slender, maybe I'll be able to stay up past 10pm again. Boo, diet, boo, exercise routines, boo, 5am....booooooo.

Vinyl siding and vinyl or aluminum replacement windows are both just considered BAD from the standpoint of preservation. Understand first that the Secretary of the Interior's Standards for the Treatment of Historic Properties recommend first and foremost: REPAIR RATHER THAN REPLACE. The value of materials in texture, look, feel, etc. cannot be underestimated.

Beyond that, in many cases the replacements do NOT offer better insulation than the original wood. In many cases, vinyl siding is laid over top of existing wood siding and no extra insulation is added (which I do not get!). The problem with many older houses is the lack of insulation. Vinyl siding is NOT maintenance-free. Nothing is maintenance-free. This is an illusion brought on by the glamour (fantasy/magic meaning here) of our throw-away consumerist culture. Environmental chemists have declared PVC (vinyl) to be one of the most toxic substances created -- its by-products are dangerous and it doesn't degrade. Most vinyl siding has a lifespan of around 20 to 30 years (if you're lucky.) It fades, but does not take paint (and besides, wasn't the point of vinyl siding that you didn't have to paint?) Now, return to wood, which is a renewable and biodegradable resource: a good paint job (i.e. one done with the proper preparation of the surfaces, correct primer, and not sprayed on with cheap paint) can last 10 to 20 years and the siding is still good. If your paint lasts say, 15 years, and you paint twice in the 30-year lifespan of a vinyl siding, you come out on top, money-wise.

As for windows, just as they are the eyes of a building (much as eyes are the windows to the soul) which makes them key character-defining elements in a building's style. Same argument as above: vinyl replacement windows are designed to last approximately 25 years. Then you throw them out. Wood windows, properly maintained, can last indefinitely. I have worked on 120 year-old windows that worked great. They require work, are not maintenance-free, and do need a storm and screen combo to make for modern comfort. BUT, studies have proven that a tight-fitting window and storm either match or come close to the energy efficiency of a modern, double-paned vinyl window. They just require a little more work -- but the aesthetic payoff is totally worth it.

As for indoor air quality, that shouldn't be an issue assuming that modern HVAC systems have been installed. What does happen sometimes is that the structure itself cannot breathe and begins to deteriorate. Builders of historic homes had a better feeling for the life of the materials used in construction: wood breathes, transmits some moisture, and expands and contracts with weather changes. The whole building needs to be sensitive to this movement, or things fall apart. Like a smaller version of bridges bouncing, right?